Winter Is Here and Jon and Daenerys Are Def Still Fucking

By Julianne Escobedo Shepherd | March 5, 2019 | 4:23pm

Entertainment TV

New Thrones trailer, my horny Thrones heads! This one outright proves that the only thing that can melt the cold murderous hands of the White Walkers is the smoking hot heat generated in the bed of Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen, a.k.a. brothers from another mother, a.k.a. incest in another way but who cares about that! It’s Thrones! Nothing is taboo… there’s only death and fucking.

It actually depicts quite a lot for the notoriously tight-lipped show, but then it’s nothing that we couldn’t have surmised: Jon and Dany eventually make their way to Winterfell, and Arya and Sansa are rightly jazzed by the sight of dragons; Cersei is drinking alone in the basement again; some motherfuckers gone die; some other motherfuckers gone die. Also, it’s clear that at some point Jon and Dany figure out they’re related (and fuckin!) because of that scene where they’re in a dragon quartet—only a Targaryen can parent a dragon, and IN MY OPINION, only Jon Snow is gonna come out of this whole scenario alive. In the interim between now and April, I look forward to imagining the zillions of dollars HBO threw down on the longest battle there ever was, and a series of Benioff and Weiss scripts that I will very likely rant about at least 165 times until I retire. Arya better live, or we shall riot. Thrones back!