Wistful Pumpkin Mike Pence Yearns for a More 'Respectful Time'


Gotta barf? Here’s a bag. Barf Bag: It’s a bag for your barf!

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Bonerless ghoul Mike Pence says that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh would have already been confirmed if we “lived in a more respectful time,” to which I say *double-palm fart sound*. [The Hill]
  • Donald Trump is NOT invited. [The Los Angeles Times]
  • Federal judges have ruled that North Carolina’s extremely gerrymandered congressional map is extremely unconstitutional. Hope they tackle literally every other state next. [NBC News]
  • Gaming behemoth Electronic Arts, a.k.a., EA, has canceled three upcoming tournaments following this past weekend’s fatal shooting in Florida. [Reuters]
  • Callista Gingrich is having fun(?).

Here are all the tweets the President was allowed to publish today:

This has been Barf Bag.

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