Women Can Do Anything, Including Release a Boring Charlie's Angels Remake Trailer

I’m not kidding when I say the trailer for the forthcoming Charlie’s Angels remake opens with Kristen Stewart staring directly into the camera and saying, “Women can do anything.”

The shot pans out to reveal the man she’s speaking to, and his retort, “Just because they can, doesn’t mean they should.” Famous last words—she beats him up and shouts, “Who steals humanitarian aid money?” And we’re fully transported to director Elizabeth Banks’s universe, where the new angels are diverse and cool and newcomers, save for Stewart. She’s joined by Ella Balinska and Disney’s Naomi Scott, who also portrays Princess Jasmine in the live-action Aladdin. What can I say, the woman must love a remake! I watched the trailer twice and it appears the plot centers around some young genius (Scott) who invents… something that could “revolutionize the power industry” but could “be weaponized,” so, naturally, a bunch of bad guys are after her. I wonder if they’ll win.

To be quite frank, the three-minute clip is outshined by its music selection, a tease for a new single by Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus and Lana Del Rey (it’s LDR who throws it off for me—how will they find a way to bring in her whispered vocals into that collab of vocal runners?) I’m excited to hear the whole thing, and I was excited for the audio distraction—after watching this, I can say with full confidence we don’t need a female James Bond, just better plots for these talented actors.

Charlie’s Angels will hit theaters in November.