Play-N-Skillz, which is not, as you might assume, a development toy for infants, created a song that is literally titled “Literally I Can’t.” The track features Redfoo of LMFAO, Lil John and something called an Enertia McFly.
This song is stupid. This song is also annoying. This song is very stupid and very annoying. However, is it the most annoying? There is a special quality to maddeningly annoying sounds and I’m not so sure “Literally I Can’t” even deserves that honor. Let’s explore, shall we?
In no particular order, 50 Sounds More Annoying Than “Literally I Cant”:
- Vuvuzelas
- The sound of your upstairs neighbor’s bedsprings squeaking
- Donald Trump’s voice
- The sound the office coffee dispenser makes when it’s run out of coffee
- The sound of your trash being collected at 6:30 am on a Monday
- Dial-up internet
- Kim Kardashian’s baby voice
- The sound of a dozen eggs dropping on the floor
- The group of upper east side teenagers behind me at Shake Shack that one time talking about which colleges they were going to
- Split-screen fights on The View
- Steve Harvey’s advice
- A tugboat horn
- Piers Morgan’s voice
- Car alarms at 3 am
- Police sirens at 3 am
- Honking horns at 3 am
- The clicking of Kelly’s radiator at 3 am
- Chirping birds outside your window at 6 am
- Birds in almost any scenario
- The kid in the dorm room above yours practicing his step routine at 3am
- Dental drills
- Woody Allen apologists
- The iPhone keyboard typing sound
- An almost-dead fluorescent lightbulb
- A crying baby on a redeye flight
- Any noise made on an airplane
- Redfoo’s entire catalog played simultaneously
- Male tears
- Someone trying to send a drink back at Starbucks
- The kid in your freshman dorm who played the acoustic guitar
- Somebody else’s unattended Gchat notifications
- The sound of anyone but you kissing
- The sound reminding you to change the batteries in your smoke alarm
- Snow White’s singing voice from Walt Disney’s animated Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
- Chad from your Political Science class
- The sound of a flat tire
- The sound of getting hit on the head very hard
- The sound of a subway train as it rounds a corner
- Any announcement made on the F train
- Fifth graders learning how to play instruments
- Your roommate’s alarm clock
- Someone else’s phone constantly buzzing during dinner
- The sound of any toy made for toddlers
- The sound of ripping a pair of new tights
- Lawnmowers
- “Check out my mixtape!”
- The sound of a garbage bag ripping
- The sound of a stalled elevator
- Empty ketchup bottles
- An actual frat party
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