Also Not Ran

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Michael Bloomberg will not be running for president, bringing up the average height of current primary contenders by some significant measure, no doubt. [Washington Post]
• Another Jeff? In this economy? [New York Times]
• Pow pow pow. Pew pew. [Media Matters]
• JP Morgan Chase is doing one less evil thing with its money. [Reuters]
• Everybody gets a book, I see. [The Daily Beast]
• Oregon might be getting closer to effectively abolishing the death penalty. Could be good to just actually abolish the death penalty, also. [The Oregonian]
• Will the president be probed? What is the status of the probe? Where is the probe? Hard to say. [CNN]
• There goes Susan Collins being selectively and only barely useful again. [Bangor Daily News]
• In the end, vaping prevails against Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Scott Gottlieb, who is resigning. [NBC News]
• The Babadook in trouble again because of his Bababook. [Washington Post]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.