Warning: spoilers for season 3, episode 1 of And Just Like That…
With Memorial Day in the rearview mirror and New York City’s sexy summer heating up, I found myself indoors, in front of my television, ready to watch almost six hours of screeners. I couldn’t help but wonder…if the return of a show so universally mocked for its unbearable dialogue, cringey attempts at adapting to a woke new world, and creation of perhaps television’s most unlikable nonbinary character rouses a deep and genuine excitement within me, does that mean I have bad taste?
Maybe! Who cares! Whatever! I’m taking a cue from our beloved protagonist Carrie Bradshaw: skipping the self-reflection and charging forth in a pair of impractical pumps, fueled only by my questionable gut instinct. And Just Like That… my favorite show to hate is back for a third season, and I’m thrilled.
The season opens with Carrie dressed in a sheer Simone Rocha gown, sitting at her desk in her still-unpacked Gramercy Park Greek revival mansion, drawing a heart on a postcard to Aidan. Not much of a writer now, are we!? It turns out that this is Carrie’s way of reminding Aidan, her Long Term, Long Distance, Low Commitment, Casual Boyfriend, that she’s still thinking of him while respecting his desire to put their relationship on pause for half a decade while he finishes raising his son who got in a car accident while drunk and high on mushrooms. In return, Aidan sends her blank postcards of Virginia. This feels about as promising as Miranda’s return to the dating scene after Che Diaz’s departure from her and our lives.
After almost hitting on her son’s old babysitter at a lesbian bar, Miranda is approached by our first jump scare of the episode…Rosie O’Donnell!! Rosie, aka Mary, is in town from the Winnipeg area for the World Conference for the Compassion of the Unhoused, which technically is Miranda at the moment (she is still Airbnb hopping post-divorce). Mary invites Miranda back to her hotel room, the two bang, and the next morning we’re treated with a second jump scare—Mary is a virgin and a nun!! This provides Carrie and Miranda the opportunity to make nun puns ad nauseam for the remainder of the episode, and honestly, that was a delight. “You deflowered the Virgin Mary?” Carrie jokes. Also, the Oscars are introducing casting awards starting next year, and I think the Emmys should as well, so that whoever cast O’Donnell as a gay tourist nun can sweep the category. Miranda is obviously a little freaked, but more importantly, it’s like, oh, how the Che-bles (rhymes with tables, folks) have turned. Miranda, now the elder queer, is the one seducing burgeoning lesbians. Is she ready for such responsibility?
As for the other characters—Lisa has sold a docuseries to PBS highlighting unsung black women throughout history, which the producers are into, but suggest they’d be more into it if she did an episode on Michelle Obama. Lisa points out that the former first lady is actually very sung, but takes the notion into consideration! She is also wearing an obscenely large woven necklace that looks like a houseware that would be sold at Pier1 Imports. I was mostly on board with it, but when she didn’t take it off to cook her family dinner later that evening, it stressed me out. (Also stressing me out was Carrie’s cartoonishly large Maryam Keyhani hat.)
Lisa’s husband Herbert is running for city comptroller, and for some reason, his campaign manager is really concerned that he isn’t portraying himself as “cool enough.” I can say with 100% assurance that I don’t need my city comptroller to be cool and that he (hello Brad Lander) decidedly is not cool. Anyways, Herbert cements his un-coolness when his college a cappella group performs at a fundraising event. Though, for the record, Harry (Charlotte’s husband) thinks this is very cool, and I’d argue that Harry is the key demo any aspiring city comptroller ought to be courting.
Seema, still fucking hot as ever, ends things with her movie director boyfriend Ravi, who is having his assistant answer and reschedule sexy Facetimes with her because he’s too busy on set. Disgraceful. Zero out of five stars on Letterboxd. Also, Charlotte’s dog gets cancelled. That’s all there really is to say about that.
In addition to the Samantha Jones-sized hole in this reboot, Che’s absence, dare I say, is felt as well. I don’t miss them per se, but I miss having a toxic character to root against (or for if I’m feeling particularly chaotic). None of the characters are actively detouring their lives off the George Washington Bridge at this point, which I suppose is good for them, though not as fun for us. But it’s still early!
Aidan breaks his blank-postcard habit by drinking three beers and drunk dialing Carrie while parked in his front yard. He’s horny. “I ache for you,” he says, and wants her to touch herself. Carrie, who was once too embarrassed to speak about masturbation on her sex advice podcast in season 1 and then nervously broached the subject of masturbation for the first time with Big, her lover of two decades, shockingly was down to digitally fool around. More shocking, though, is that she didn’t kick her cat, Shoe, out of the bed. In the original show, there would have been a whole episode and column dedicated to the Pet Dilemma—I officially found myself in a throuple: me, a man, and man’s best friend Carrie’s narration would go. Later in the episode, she does casually write off her faked phone orgasm, blaming Shoe’s presence. But it’s clear the real reason was that, again, Aidan kicked things off buzzed on some Heinekens, saying, “I ache for you.”
At one point before the phone sex, Carrie consults a Magic 8 Ball instead of really opening up to Charlotte, Miranda, Seema, or Anthony about the murkiness of her on-pause relationship with Aidan. “Outlook Good,” it reads through the milky blue window. She purses her lips, hiding a sly smile. That’s why we love (or love to hate) this crazy chica. Even though her boyfriend can’t even draw a heart on a postcard and wants to go incommunicado for five full years, she’s still optimistic. It’s delusional. I love it. And I feel the same way about this third season. I’m disregarding everything I know to be true about how insane this show is and leaning into “Outlook Good.” [insert quirky Carrie pursed lips here.]
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