Ariana and SpongeBob, Slow Down!

The "Thank U Next" singer and pineapple dweller are cohabitating after just a couple of months of dating. I hope the lease is month to month!

Ariana and SpongeBob, Slow Down!
Photo: (Getty Images)

We all know who lives in pineapple under the sea. SpongeBob Squarepants, obviously. But do we know who lives in a luxury condo in Manhattan? Apparently SpongeBob Squarepants and Ariana Grande.

According to US Weekly, Ariana and Ethan Slater, who met while filming Wicked in 2022 (and were both married at the time), are now living together full-time in New York City. “Ethan informed his friends and soon-to-be ex-wife that he’s living with Ariana full-time in New York,” the source told the mag. To quote Andre 3000 pretending to be Big Boi, “Too soon! Don’t do it! Reconsider! Read some literature on the subject!”

If you don’t remember, which is understandable, because it all happened very fast, rumors started swirling in mid-July about these co-star’s relationship. Within a week of those rumors, news broke that Slater (who before Wicked played the titular role in SpongeBob on Broadway) asked his wife for a divorce mere days before the Ariana fling went public. Soon after, we got the infamous avowal from the betrayed wife—who had a one-year-old baby with Ethan by the way—that Ariana was “not a girl’s girl.”

Meanwhile, Ariana filed for divorce in September from her husband, Dalton Gomez, who she’d been married to for just over two years. But according to court docs, they’d been separated since mid-February. Also, it always feels important to note that Gomez is a real estate agent because he has the most real estate agent name of all time. I hope he’s been able to close some big deals throughout all this tumult. Anyways…

Last week the couple was spotted strolling around Ariana’s favorite spot, Disney World. The gossip on the Disney blogs is that Ariana is a pain in the butt to the “plaids” aka VIP concierges who you can pay up to $900/hr to tour you around and skip the lines for rides. I think my advice would be, Ariana, get used to waiting! It can be a virtue! Wait to move in with your newly fathered co-star of a boyfriend! Wait a beat after he leaves his partner of over ten years to take him to Disney World! Learn to wait in lines at Disney! Good things come to those who wait!

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