Ariana Grande Went Shopping, As She Should


I tend to handle emotional strife by buying things. Just last week, I was so upset by a New York Times push alert that I blacked out in the fancy grocery store and left with $20 worth of cheese. Every time I break up with someone or get rejected, I end up with several new sweaters, which are blankets for your body as well as for your heart. Capitalism tells us that buying things will make us feel better, and sometimes it works. (And sometimes you can’t pay your heating bill that month, so the sweaters really come in handy.)

I assume that’s what Ariana Grande was doing in SoHo on Sunday—not not paying her heating bill, but engaging in retail therapy, since she was spotted carrying several large Chanel bags, according to TMZ. Grande is now a week out from her devastating split with Pete Davidson, and Girl. Looks. Great.

I have never been to a Chanel so I don’t know what Grande bought, but I am going to assume all her purchases were practical, yet indulgent, as all good break up expenditures are. On Saturday, People reported spotting Grande in the Bronx with her mother, on the same day that Davidson joked at a comedy benefit about covering up his relationship tattoos and looking for a roommate.

Meanwhile, we continue to say prayers for Piggie Smalls, who is reportedly having a tough time now that Mom and Dad are no longer together. Change is hard for pigs, as they cannot buy sweaters when they feel sad.

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