The defense in Silvio Berlusconi’s increasingly bizarre trial have submitted a list of witnesses they’d like to call, including the Italian foreign minister, “a bevy of showgirls” . . . and George Clooney, who allegedly attended one of Berlusconi’s infamous parties with his girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis. This odd assortment leads us to wonder who else is on the defense’s list. Below, some ideas:
Brad Pitt
We’re pretty sure this trial is actually just a cover for the secret shooting of Ocean’s Fourteen, and obviously Danny Ocean needs his Rusty Ryan. Berlusconi will play new character Skeevy Skeevarino, a lecherous man who distracts female security guards by leering at them.
Matthew McConaughey
Maybe those bunga bunga parties were actually “bongo bongo.”