Beyonce Slapped on the Buns Mid-Song by a Nefarious Dane

By Lindy West  |  May 29, 2013 | 12:00am
CelebritiesDirt Bag

DOOOOOOOD, you really can’t just go around slappin’ nonconsensual buns, and you especially can’t just go around slappin’ nonconsensual Beyonce buns, because Beyonce buns have highly paid 24-hour bun-guards who will haul your ass to Danish butt-jail! So DO NOT DO IT. But anyway, someone did it.

Pop singer Beyoncé was slapped on the butt by a male fan during her show in Copenhagen on Monday, shocking the celebrity so much that she stopped performang and told the man she would have him escorted out.
Beyoncé was singing “Irreplacable” as she walked by the stage’s edge touching fans’ hands, when one of them suddenly swatted her.
“I will have you escorted out of here,” she said sternly. “Alright?”

Ugh, watch the video. What a creepy entitled prick. HEY, EVERYONE. DON’T TOUCH STRANGERS’ BUNS UNLESS THEY TELL YOU TO. FULL STOP. [RawStory]

Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman talk about the early days of their romance and their most memorable dates.

Mullally: We had a lot of coyotes around us early on. I don’t know what that was all about but it seemed like some kind of good omen. We’d be making out on the street at two in the morning and we’d look up and there’d be a giant coyote staring at us.
Offerman: It’s worth mentioning this would be downtown L.A., where we met doing a play.
Mullally: Well, yeah that’s true. It happened around Tamarind, where the UCB theater is now, and it also happened in a park off of Coldwater in Beverly Hills.
Offerman: The Coldwater one was crazy because I was sincerely going down on Megan —
Mullally: This is true.
Offerman: And she was laying down in the traditional position to receive those pleasures and I looked up and ten feet above her head was a coyote sitting there in repose and we nodded at one another and then it sagely walked off into the brush.

If they ever break up I’m going to bury myself in the earth and not emerge for 17 years. [Vulture]

Rob Lowe is going to play JFK in a TV movie based on a book by Bill O’Reilly.

“Killing Kennedy” will take the form of a “factual drama” and will premiere on National Geographic TV channel later this year to coincide with the 50th anniversary of Kennedy’s assassination, the network said.
Kennedy was shot by Lee Harvey Oswald on November 22, 1963 in Dallas as the president’s motorcade made its way through the Texas city.
Lowe, 49, who rose to prominence in the 1980s as an actor in such films as “The Outsiders” and “St. Elmo’s Fire,” will star alongside “Mona Lisa Smile” actress Ginnifer Goodwin, who will play first lady Jacqueline Kennedy.
“Gossip Girl” star Michelle Trachtenberg will portray Oswald’s Soviet-born wife, Marina Oswald. It will be the first Russian-speaking role for the American actress, who is fluent in the language.
The actor who will portray Oswald will be cast within the next two weeks, a network spokeswoman said.

I mean, k. [Reuters]

George Takei just posted this gorgeous, impassioned rallying cry on his Facebook and I love it and I love him.

Many on this page have commented that they are “sick” of people talking about gay issues, or simply “don’t care” if someone is gay and would rather they would kept it to themselves. I find this disheartening.

There may come a day when we need not come out of the closet, and need not remind others of the terrible violence, inequity, and ostracism that LGBT people face daily simply because of who we are and who we love. But that day is not here, and more importantly will never get here, unless people continue to step forward and offer themselves as examples, often at great personal cost. I am called “faggot,” “degenerate,” “queer” and “homo” by misguided people every day of my life, even on my own page, but this does not discourage me. It only reminds me of how far we have to go.

Once upon a time I was called a “Jap” and put into a prison for four years with my entire family, for no reason other than who we were and who we looked like. It is my life’s mission to fight against the dark forces of fear and intolerance that could ever lead again to such an injustice.

Thank you for taking the time to listen. The next time you feel fatigue from hearing about LGBT issues, ask yourself this: Do we live yet in the kind of society where violence, hate and prejudice is not an issue? Until we do, be part of the solution, and stand always for justice and equality for all people.

<3 <3 <3 [Facebook]

  • Kim Kardashian is finally wearing some sensible flops. [Radar]
  • Amanda Bynes says her lawyer is getting her case dropped like a “vase” out of a 36th-story window. [E!]
  • Do the shattered fragments of Bynes‘s “vase” look like a bong? YOU BE THE JURDGE! [OF THE MOST BORING AND LEAST MYSTERIOUS MYSTERY OF ALL TIME] [TMZ]
  • Barbara Eden is an actual genie, apparently. [E!]
  • Do you “gotta have” Stacy Keibler‘s turtleneck dress, or do you want to “make it stop”? Are those really the only two options? [E!]
  • “News.” Rich female celebrities enjoy yoga. [E!]
  • “Black people are the most judgmental people in the world,” says Miguel. [E!]
  • I totally forgot Jessica Simpson is pregnant again. [E!]
  • David Beckham and Gordon Ramsay are teaming up to open a restaurant together in Las Vegas. All the servers will be British men in underpants yelling at you and all the food will be soccer balls. [ShowbizSpy]
  • Demi Lovato‘s hair is “even blonder.” [E!]
  • Okay, so the end of Monday-Sunday was pretty depressing yesterday. But that’s only because I forgot how awesome Tuesday-Monday is! It’s like Monday, but it’s actually TUESDAY! See you guys on Wednesday-Tuesday.

 
Join the discussion...