Cher’s Memoir Confirms Sonny Bono Was, in Fact, a POS

"He told me he was sorry but insisted I was to blame for not having enough sex with him," Cher wrote of her ex-husband in the first part of her new self-titled memoir.

By Audra Heinrichs | November 19, 2024 | 5:18pm

Photo: Getty Images Books Celebrities Entertainment

Cher’s Memoir Confirms Sonny Bono Was, in Fact, a POS

Imagine leading such a monumental life—one chockful of divorce, debt, and death—that your memoir has to be two parts just to fit it all in. Only a small sample of the population could face such a conundrum, and one of them is the living legend known as Cher.

This week, the singer, actor, and now, author, released part one of her self-titled book, and already, multiple anecdotes have made the rounds in the press. Unfortunately, too many of them co-star Sonny Bono, Cher’s late first husband and the father of her child, Chaz. There’s the pair’s not-so-meet-cute in a coffee shop (“I thought it was like when Tony met Maria. I mean, everybody disappeared”), how his immaturity aided their 11-year age gap (“he was kind of childish”), and his galling declaration after she moved in with him (“Honestly, I don’t find you particularly attractive”). Charming!

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All in all, Cher’s continued candor is more evidence that Bono was every bit the asshole others have claimed he was. Never forget when he tried to impose an anti-nudity law for spring breakers during his tenure as Mayor of Palm Springs. Anyway. Most disturbing of all (apart from the fact that he met Cher when she was just 16 years old) are the details of their “loveless” six-year marriage and its dissolution.

“I was dizzy with loneliness,” Cher wrote of their relationship. “I saw how easy it would be to step over the edge and simply disappear. For a few crazy minutes I couldn’t imagine any other option. I did this five or six times.” Are you reading between the lines? Their relationship was so bad that Cher—the Cher—contemplated suicide multiple times before the age of 30.

Bono, she describes, wasn’t just “controlling” but “Machiavellian.” One example: She couldn’t wear a certain perfume because he didn’t like the smell. Here’s another: He went so far as to blame her for his cheating because she didn’t consent to sex at his every beck and call.

“He told me he was sorry but insisted I was to blame for not having enough sex with him,” Cher wrote. “‘I wouldn’t have to look outside of our marriage if I was sexually satisfied,”‘ she recalled him telling her. Ultimately, things became so untenable that she confessed she wanted to sleep with a man in their band.

“How long do you think you’ll need?” he apparently asked. She responded “two hours.” And that, friends, is why she’s an icon. Sometime, after having sex with another man, Bono removed her wedding ring while she was half asleep, telling her: “America will hate you for breaking us up!” Meanwhile, Cher later learned that Bono had been unfaithful for much of their marriage.

Unfortunately, Cher couldn’t exactly make a clean break from Bono. Not only did they share a child, but her contract locked her into another two years of The Sonny & Cher Show. According to the fine print, she got three weeks of vacation per year and was allotted a meager salary, but was never actually paid any of it. Even more horrifying, she discovered that Bono owned 95 percent of her company, Cher Enterprises, while his attorney owned the other five percent. She couldn’t even sign a check or withdraw money without Bono’s signature.

“I couldn’t fathom that this was true. I couldn’t understand the meaning—how did it happen?” Cher wrote of her feelings at the time. “How could Sonny do that in good conscience? He’d been everything to me and for some time I’d been everything to him.”

When she eventually was ready to leave Bono, Cher found comfort from Lucille Ball, since their situations were similar. Ball, too, had co-starred on a show with her philandering ex-husband.

“I told her, ‘Lucy, I want to leave Sonny and you’re the only one I know that’s ever been in this same situation. What should I do?’” Cher wrote. Ball didn’t mince words: “‘Fuck him, you’re the one with the talent.’”

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