Chevy Chase and Martha Stewart Should Get Married


Guess who Martha Stewart bumped into on The Today Show Friday? The one and only Chevy Chase, her perfect future husband!

In 2013, Today went out of their way to try and find Martha a man. It didn’t seem to go very far, but somehow, it’s working out for them anyway: the show seems to accidentally have created a love connection for Martha when she appeared in a segment following Chevy Chase’s during today’s episode. Chevy was on to reminisce about Saturday Night Live for the 40th anniversary of that program, while Martha was on to help us get healthy in the new year after encouraging us to stuff our faces at the end of the old one. For a brief few moments, they posed together to plug their segments, and a spark was seen between them, one that is now slowly growing into a larger flame.

Look at this chemistry, as Chevy awkwardly tries to handle an avocado and Martha kindly doesn’t even appear to correct his technique too much. “Hi,” says one. “Hi,” says the other. “Not sure what’s happening between those two,” interjects the useless Carson Daly, who couldn’t even purposefully set Martha up on a decent date and now can’t recognize what’s happening in front of him. LOVE, CARSON. It’s love.

Chevy Chase is a noted asshole. He has been married three times, and is actually still (perhaps inconveniently) married to his third wife, Jayni, with whom has three children. They seem quite happy, according to this 2009 profile of the couple in the immensely satisfying Westchester magazine The Wag, despite things that could have been roadblocks, like the decade-plus age difference between them or Chase’s horrible personality.

Martha is a noted asshole, but in a different and much more lovable way than Chevy. She is biting and crafty (in more ways than one) and always gets her way. In her segment on Today, she dropped an avocado pit and didn’t even bother to pick it up. She just let it roll away, while Matt Lauer scrambled for it and Savannah Guthrie looked on somewhat helplessly. Martha’s a couple years older than Chevy, which gives her even more power over him in time spent on Earth. She could be the one person who could tame him.

What could Chevy do for Martha? Well, people say he’s funny, though how he could be funnier than her, I’m not sure. He might be the rare person whose presence makes Martha feel like a nice person, which I hear is a nice feeling. But the real question is, what could this couple do for us as a world? Make us believe in the power of love again—or maybe for the first time ever.

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