Don Jr. Is a One-Man Donald Trump Cover Band


Donald Trump Jr., a man who has perfected the 1980s corrupt hedge fund manager aesthetic but fancies himself an outdoorsy everyman, is no longer a useless son, according to dear father.

The Washington Post reports that Donald Trump is finally responding to his son’s desperate pleas for affection as he travels the country trying proving his worth at campaign rallies and public events. “Don’s gotten really good,” Trump reportedly said. “My people love him.”

Don Jr., Republican rock star, knows how to play the crowd in the vision of his namesake (emphasis mine):

“Don has proven to be a very good public speaker and was a very likable presence on the campaign trail,” Trump said in the statement to The Post. “People like when he represents me in front of groups of people. I always get a favorable response. . . . Don likes and enjoys politics, but he likes seeing great results for the American people even better, and that is why he is involved. He truly believes that I am making America great again and loves being a part of it.”

Don. Jr: A passable stand-in for those times when you can’t get the original to come say racist things in an airplane hangar.

Mutual intolerance for immigrants and a propensity for self-incrimination has brought one father and his adult son closer than anyone could have imagined. Truly beautiful.

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