Last night I found myself wide awake at 3 a.m., trying to ease my troubled, alcohol-addled mind. Nothing worked. Sleep was out of the question, but watching the network anchors and Twitter pundits scrabble helplessly about for content was too depressing. I needed something soothing, but engaging; something that would take me out of my present reality and place me elsewhere. The answer came to me just as dawn started to break, casting wan light over our stupid, stupid land: I needed earwax removal YouTube.
Why is watching balls of goopy earwax get gently dislodged from an ear canal such a visceral relief? I don’t know. Dr. Pimple Popper, aka Sandra Lee, proved that the human spirit craves the sort of grace that comes with the destruction of something horrifying, like a man being freed from a lipoma the size of a baby and a woman being divested of her scalp hoof. It’s an exorcism, of sorts. It’s catharsis.
If you Google the words “earwax removal satisfying,” you will be presented with a selection of videos by Neel Raithatha, who refers to himself as “the Wax Whisperer.” He can call himself whatever he wants, because I tell you, the peace that washed over me as I saw Raithatha gingerly extract clumps the wax the size of space rocks was nothing I have experienced this year, or possibly ever. It sends a chill of pleasure down my spine just remembering how I felt the moment I knew that even the world’s most challenging earwax removal would be no match for Raithatha’s patience and deft hands. When I saw the final chunk being drawn out of the patient’s ear by Raithatha’s expertly guided hook, I gasped.
Raithatha also sets himself apart with his attention to detail. Even after the worst is over and the largest wax blobs are vanquished, he still goes in and cleans up the remaining bits, leaving the ear canal as gleaming and clean as a freshly scrubbed baby. There is no sight more beautiful.
Everyone’s been talking a lot lately about the importance of self care, to which I say, forget your massages and luxury face masks! If you want to be at once riveted by drama and soothed by the triumph of man over nature, watch these videos. If you want to feel amazed and also vaguely ill, watch these videos. If your faith in humanity has wavered, or collapsed completely, watch these videos.