Fabulousness Expert Joan Rivers: OWS Could Use Some More Fabulous Gay Men

Sentient silicone packet Joan Rivers has some thoughts on Occupy Wall Street style: you see, all the protesters are dirty, drum-circle-loving hippies — because there are no gay men down there. (Someone should tell her about Hipster Cop!) If there were gay men, see, then they could go all Queer Eye For The 99%: Occupy My Stereotype and teach the hippies how to color-block and mix prints. Rivers says “of course” gay men are more stylish than their straight counterparts. “Gay men have better bodies, on the whole. That’s number one, and number two: They care more about what they look like. Very seldom will you find a gay schlep [sic, “schlub”?]. Am I right? Very few homeless…This is why there are no gay protestors in Zuccotti Park. Because there’s no place to change, and no closets.” That’s right. There are no gay homeless people, and everybody’s straight at #OWS. “I think Occupy Wall Street was terrific the first week, and it has now turned into a very happy druggy party. I suggest they all get jobs and go back to work. What was an amazing and wonderful thing, I now find just ridiculous. Everyone’s on drugs and everybody’s singing, and they now have a DVD out, and now they want to do a reality show.” [The Cut]

Terry Richardson photographed himself grabbing his dick in a Tom Ford bathrobe and for some reason Vogue Hommes International decided to publish this. [Fashionista]

America’s Next Top Model winner Brittani Kline‘s Vogue Italia beauty supplement cover editorial is out. The magazine used a lot more shots of Kline than they did of previous winner Ann Ward, and Kline — who, in an attempt to wash off all the Tyra, has been given a mohawk-ish haircut and renamed “Autumn” by her agency — also recently did an editorial for Mexican Vogue. [TFS]

Agent Provocateur launched a new, even more expensive lingerie collection, called Soirée. This Halloween-themed ad video is actually kind of cute. [YouTube]

  • This is kind of sad: only 7% of American women report that they love their hair. Among different races, black women, at 14%, are most likely to love their hair. [Glamour]
  • Speaking of which, some doctors say that taking pre-natal vitamins to improve your hair and nails is a bad idea, because they contain more iron than regular multi-vitamins. But it’s probably less dangerous than eating a McRib. [Fashionista]
  • Our Number One Halloween Costume Inspiration, Daphne Guinness, isn’t getting dressed up this year for Halloween. “I mean, the funny thing is I always wanted to get dressed for Halloween,” she says. But: “I’m not very good at getting dressed up. I’m going out with a friend, I’m sort of taking it easy…I’m in quite a reflective mood at the moment…I just feel terribly grateful for a lot of things. Just understanding what’s happening in the world. Lots of different elements, they’re all connected.” [P6]
  • Heidi Klum is hosting her famous Halloween party tonight at the Dream Downtown — where she will wear her Bat Boy costume, after having debuted the Bodies exhibit costume at her bash in Vegas. Now, this may be hard to imagine, but Klum is not the only person throwing a Halloween party today. She’s not even the only model who’s worked for Victoria’s Secret! Enter Miranda Kerr, who’s throwing a Halloween party in Chelsea, mere blocks from Klum. (Kerr is dressing up as a “sexy ringmaster.” Bo-ring.) The Post is spinning this as some kind of Model Vs. Model Party Showdown, but we expect the sort of folks who are invited to one will be invited to the other, and will thus appreciate the convenience of party-hopping. May the best canapés win. [P6]
  • As if that weren’t enough, Anja Rubik and Kanye West are also hosting a Halloween party in New York tonight. [P6]
  • Lindsey Wixson says rumored boyfriend Theo Wenner has visited her hometown in Kansas and met her parents. [The Cut]
  • Probably only WSJ. magazine could bring together Marc Jacobs, Jonathan Safran Foer, and Marina Abramovic for a party. [WWD]
  • Cristiano Ronaldo was emailed sexy photos by a fan — and he accidentally forwarded the email, attachments included, to his entire address book. Including his supermodel fiancée, Irina Shayk. How did the fan get Ronaldo’s email? [NYDN]
  • Marc Jacobs says he got cast in a movie, and he’ll be playing — wait for it — “a character that’s not myself at all.” [Style.com]
  • The designer says he’s going to a Cabaret-inspired Halloween party, to which he will wear “a very perverse and decadent costume.” [The Cut]
  • Margherita Missoni designed a capsule collection for M Missoni. The most expensive item is a €120 raincoat, and a portion of the proceeds from the collection will go to an organization called OrphanAid to help orphans in Ghana. [WWD]
  • Tom Ford has rented the John Lautner-designed Palm Springs house from Diamonds Are Forever to shoot a new perfume campaign. Architecture nerds: the house in A Single Man was also by Lautner. By the way, that house is still on the market for $1.495 million. [P6]
  • The point of this news story seems to be, some women like non-white wedding dresses, and others do not. [The Cut]
  • Dennis Basso is marrying his longtime partner at the Pierre Hotel — it is to be the New York City landmark’s first same-sex wedding. Friends threw the designer a shower at a fancy restaurant, where everyone wore tiaras and toasted with champagne. The Post seems pretty weirded out by the idea of a man wearing a crown. [P6]
  • In the wake of news that the company is being investigated by the SEC once again, Moody’s has placed Avon under review for a possible downgrade of its credit rating. [WWD]
  • Someone named Kat Von D now has a licensed clothing line. [CM]
  • Stuart Weitzman is expanding. The brand just opened a store on Fifth Avenue and another in Chicago, and plans 35 more around the world. [WWD]
  • And now, a moment with Captain Obvious Cathy Horyn, who has some advice for fashion bloggers:
  • “I think it’s about bringing something fresh and different to a blog, that’s not really about criticism or opinion. News is good because it’s something you have that nobody else has. If you can be truthful about it, without being shady about the sourcing, then I think it’s good.”
  • [Fashionista]
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