Heavy-Metal Mastectomies: An Excerpt From Pandora's DNA
                            
If we had to pick one, I’m unsure whether my family would select an Amazon or Saint Agatha for our mascot. The Amazons, a mythological tribe of warrior women, cut off their right breasts so they could better draw their bows, exchanging femininity for fearsomeness on the field of battle. They’re even named for their breastlessness—a common derivation suggests it comes from the Greek a (without) mazos (breast).
At the other end of the spectrum, there’s Saint Agatha, a Sicilian virgin who dedicated herself to God in the mid–third century. The Roman prefect Quintianus cut off her breasts because she wouldn’t have sex with him or sacrifice to the Roman gods. You can tell that mostly male artists painted her, because she’s often shown holding a plate with her disembodied breasts on it, gazing over them with dead eyes and a smooth, untroubled expression, as if these body parts meant no more to her than a plate of bread. In fact, she is the patron saint of bread and bell makers because her severed anatomy resembled buns and bells. She’s the patron saint of breast cancer patients too.
The Amazons and Saint Agatha represent two extremes in how we narrativize cancer patients. On one hand, they are fierce, defiant warriors taking control of their health and doing the difficult thing to improve survival, no matter the side effects. On the other hand, they are martyrs, submitting to vicious disfigurement at the hands of the medical establishment, giving up something valuable to protect what is even more precious.
But people are complex and contain multitudes. Cancer patients or BRCA patients are neither simply martyrs nor warriors. In some form, both narratives imbue each mastectomy. Patients are actors in their own fate, and acted upon by modern medicine.
The novelist Frances Burney’s account of her own mastectomy—one of the few patient-written narratives passed down from history—lays bare the underlying brutality of the operation. Her description in a letter to a friend nine months later is one of the most visceral, horrifying, death-metal things I’ve ever read. She didn’t want to spend months dreading her operation, so she asked the surgeons to give her only a few hours’ notice. One morning, a note came. The surgeons would arrive at ten o’clock that day—in two hours.
In case she died during the operation, she wrote notes to her husband and son. Then she drank a single wine cordial, and seven men in black entered her room without even knocking. They asked her to mount the bed in the middle of the living room. She couldn’t move, locked in a moment of horror. “I stood suspended, for a moment, whether I should not abruptly escape—I looked at the door, the windows—I felt desperate.”
But of course there was no escape. After a moment, “my reason then took the command, & my fears & feelings struggled vainly against it.” Her maid wept by the door, and her two nurses stood “transfixed.” The doctors tried to send the women away, but Fanny resisted them. “No, I cried, let them stay!” Two of the women broke and ran off, but one defiantly remained.
Anesthesia wasn’t a tool yet. They placed an ordinary cambric handkerchief over her face, thin enough that she could see “the glitter of polished Steel” through it. They uncovered her breast, and one of the doctors made a circle in the air with his finger, indicating that they would take the whole thing off. This freaked her out, so she ripped the handkerchief off her face and sat up, explaining that all her pain radiated from a single point in her breast. But the doctors told her again that it must all come off, and firmly put the cloth back over her face. Then they started sawing off her breast while she watched them through the handkerchief. Here’s how that felt:
When the dreadful steel was plunged into the breast—cutting through veins—arteries—flesh—nerves—I needed no injunctions not to restrain my cries. I began a scream that lasted unintermittingly during the whole time of the incision—& I almost marvel that it rings not in my Ears still! so excruciating was the agony. When the wound was made, & the instrument was withdrawn, the pain seemed undiminished, for the air that suddenly rushed into those delicate parts felt like a mass of minute but sharp & forked poniards, that were tearing the edges of the wound—but when again I felt the instrument—describing a curve—cutting against the grain, if I may so say, while the flesh resisted in a manner so forcible as to oppose & tire the hand of the operator, who was forced to change from the right to the left—then, indeed, I thought I must have expired.
From then on, she kept her eyes shut so hard “that the Eyelids seemed indented into the Cheeks.” For a moment, she thought they were done, but the cutting resumed. “Dr. Larry rested but his own hand, &—Oh Heaven!—I then felt the Knife [rack]ling against the breast bone—scraping it!—This performed, while I yet remained in utterly speechless torture.”
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