ERIN: someone just tweeted this at me
KATE: turtle sex?
DODAI: who did we decide was the sexiest? Donatello?
KATE: he’s the bad boy right
KATE: or the one with the bad attitude
DODAI: actually jessica
DODAI: we should repub that from last year
JESSICA: OMG YES
DODAI: just like put it up again
KATE: i was looking at a sublet last summer and they made me say which one i was and i said donatello i think
HILLARY: HA
KATE: (i didn’t end up living there)
JESSICA: (also raphael is the hottest turtle, we’ve discussed this)
DODAI: i like Michaelangelo!
KELLY: donatello duh
KELLY: he’s the intellectual
HILLARY: my friend named Raphael was like ‘I got to play TMNT with my son and didn’t even have to change my name!’
ERIN: THEY’RE
ERIN: TURTLES
KELLY: although shoutout to leonardo, the tortured leader
DODAI: stop thinking inside the box Erin
DODAI: think outside the PIZZA BOX
JESSICA: you’re so sheltered, erin
JESSICA: fuck a turtle, then come talk to us
DODAI: How To Work At Jezebel: Fuck A Turtle
JESSICA: HAHAHAHA
KATE: oh wait you know what
HILLARY: TBH, I hate the new TMNT movie though, they look fucking nuts … in a bad way
KATE: i just checked my archives
KATE: and i said raphael
KATE: because “raphael is cool but rude”
JESSICA: that’s right, kate
HILLARY: Like turtles muscle heads on roids
MADDIE: unless we’re talking about disney’s robin hood, i have little interest in fuckable cartoons
HILLARY: the fox?
KELLY: Cartoons The Jezebel Staff Would Bone, Ranked
DODAI:
KELLY: hahaha
KELLY: OF COURSE
MADDIE: i wrote that too
DODAI: we’re on it kelly.
MADDIE: i’m such a hypocrite
MARK: There is so much misandry at jezebel
MARK: Maddie writes that she wants to give it to a cartoon fox
MARK: and everyone rejoices
MARK: I wrote that Time did a fun thing where they put Anna from Frozen on Tinder
MARK: and I get called a pedophile
MADDIE: sorry, have you heard robin hood talk?
MADDIE: it’s as smooth as butter