This edition of Crap Email From A Dude came with photos attached — proof to the recipient that “I have been having sex while seeing you.” But that’s what she gets for refusing to sleep with him! Serves her right.
“Crazy Guy” and reader Gargamel were seeing each other for about two months. She broke it off, “because it didn’t feel right to me.” The relationship was never consummated, which, judging from the email below, was probably for the better.
————— message —————
From: [Crazy Guy]
Date: Mon, May 3, 2010 at 12:25 AM
Subject: Setting the record straight
To: [Gargamel]
[Gargamel],
Now that you have broken up with me, allow me to “speak my mind” as you put it. I have no idea what kind of a moron you think I am, but I have suspected something was wrong for a while. I think you are dating somebody else and suspected as much for a while. I hope that is the case. Otherwise, maybe you should see a shrink as you have serious intimacy and relationship issues. Frankly, my gut told me to break up with you after our “hot tub” movie date. But, after speaking to some of my friends who are girls, they assured me that maybe you needed to take it slow. Stupid me, my gut is always right. Adding more to the
confusion is that you decided to meet my kids and also my friends – an odd choice on your part. Then you break up with me. I thought you liked me. Odd. So again, either you are afraid of being close to someone or dating someone else.
Maybe you thought I was too “serious” with you and thus you didn’t respect me or feel the need to pursue me. How wrong you are. I typically have sex on the first to third date. I waited with you. You were an exception, and one I will not make anymore in the future. I’ve been married, have 2 kids, I’ve had sex, its not that big a deal – fun – but not a life altering event. Because it was none of your business, as you never committed to our “relationship”, I continued to date other people (I told you as much in the start). I had a date Thursday night. I have one on Wednesday.
And I have been having sex while seeing you. This is one of the girls I’ve been dating (I sent some pictures). I met her on vacation, she’s 24, we had sex many times (4) while on vacation and since then (4 more- its memorable stuff). You see, after my shit storm marriage, I deserve some fun. Despite this letter, I’m not even that upset you broke up with me – just mad at myself. I guess I’m not that nice after all. I have many facets to my personality, you didn’t scratch the surface.
-[Crazy Guy]
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