I Still Can’t Believe These Moments from the 2016 Republican Primary Really Happened

We're knee-deep in the 2024 cycle, but I'm not done processing Carson and Cruz duking it out in a supply closet and Rubio breaking his tooth on a Twix bar.


Ted Cruz bends the knee to Trump with sad little hostage video

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Frankly, I can think of no more suitable conclusion to the primary than this: Cruz bending the knee to Trump in the most pitiful way possible by phone banking for the Republican nominee in something akin to a hostage video. Mind you, this came even after Trump insulted Cruz’s wife’s appearance, claimed Cruz’s dad helped assassinate JFK, and called Cruz a pussy before an uproarious crowd.

There were some real heartbreakers to come, like the viscerally, soul-crushingly disgusting audio of Trump bragging about grabbing women by the pussy and, of course, the events of election night itself. But on that day in October 2016, watching Cruz debase himself and betray all of his values on the world stage, however briefly, life was good.

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