I'm Inspired By This Old-Ass Snake Who Is Doing It For Herself

I'm Inspired By This Old-Ass Snake Who Is Doing It For Herself

One of life’s many mysteries, for me, personally, are snakes. The way they move frightens me and I do not have enough understanding of physics or anything else really to understand how this kind of shit happens. But I respect their hustle—and I am especially in awe of this ball python in St. Louis who is taking life into her own metaphorical hands. (She doesn’t have hands, per se, she’s a fucking snake).

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that the 62-year-old ball python has apparently laid a clutch of eggs without any male help. According to Mark Wanner, a zoological manager of herpetology at the St. Louis Zoo, the snake, who goes by 361003, would be the “oldest snake in history” to be a mother if these eggs survive. 361003 reportedly hasn’t been with a male ball python in two decades and technically, snakes of her species stop laying eggs way before they turn 60. If you believe in miracles, then that’s what this is. Personally, this feels like less of a miracle and more like a practical woman taking stock of what she needs and wants in life, and doing everything she can do get it.

My understanding of herpetology is very limited, but snakes apparently can reproduce asexually. Great, love to hear it. Maybe 361003 was tired of spending time alone, gazing into the corner of her enclosure, wondering why they won’t let her watch TV like she wants to. Perhaps she grew tired of her handlers and their insistent prodding. I like to think that she looked at the world around her, realized that she could use a hobby, and took care of that shit on her own. The zookeepers won’t give her any friends? Fuck that shit, man, she’s gonna grow her OWN friends/children/things she needs to take care of until she expires!! That’s what I like to see, baby. Make the life you want, on your terms.

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