Jeb Bush Would Totally Kill Baby Hitler, Thinks It Would Be Super Rad


Twitter, the gaping void into which we scream, recently fussed over a question posed by New York Times Magazine: if you could time travel to the past and kill Adolf Hitler as a baby, would you do it? Much debate was had, and now 2016 Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush is dipping in his oar. And lest there be any question, he would kill the fuck out of baby Hitler.

“Hell yeah, I would!” exclaimed Jebbers to the Huffington Post. “You gotta step up, man.”

Such was his enthusiasm that he reiterated his position on Twitter. After Huffington Post senior political reporter Scott Conroy tweeted out the news, Bush quoted him and responded with the following:

Now, don’t get me wrong: Adolf Hitler was a monster, one of the evilest motherfuckers to besmirch the earth’s soil. Better that he had never been born. But he was born, which means that he was, at one point, a baby. And whether or not you believe in predetermined destiny, it’s disturbing to see a grown man—or anyone, for that matter—this jazzed up about infanticide.

The Huffington Post reports that Bush “did acknowledge that murdering the future German dictator before he had the chance to ignite World War II would be an act that could set in motion unknown consequences.” (Buddy Ol’ Jeb has seen Back to the Future, after all.)

Nonetheless he remained firm. From Huffington Post:

“‘It could have a dangerous effect on everything else, but I’d do it – I mean, Hitler,’ Bush said with a shrug.

I mean, yeah dude, totes.

In the hours since Bush’s remarks, Twitter has contemplated them and returned with a compelling question:

Well played, sir.

Contact the author at [email protected]. Embedded Images via Twitter.

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