On last night’s episode of Toddlers & Tiaras, one mother went to extremes to pray for a crown in her daughter’s first pageant. Saryniti (pronounced “serenity”) is six years old and her mother Ca’Trina prays for guidance on costumes, spray tans, hair and makeup and ultimately, prays for a win. The problem is that God doesn’t win pageants—glitz does, and Ca’Trina fucked up royally on her prep work. She got her friend to do Saryniti’s hair and makeup, which is fine, but not only had the woman never done pageant hair and makeup before, but she also forgot to bring hot rollers or any kind of comb or brush. In the end, Saryniti got one of those pity prizes (known as a “princess” title) that everyone in her age group received, but she didn’t really know the difference since she’s only six. What’s sad is that she thought Jesus had heard her prayers. But if he had, he’d have made her a queen like she asked.
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