Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, Please Just Get Divorced Already

CelebritiesDirt Bag
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, Please Just Get Divorced Already
Image:Jean-Baptiste Lacroix / AFP (Getty Images)

Nothing really surprises me anymore, even though everything should, because this world is so stupid that I should expect the worst and end up with the medium, at best. However, I am sort of surprised by this news, which is that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s marital woes will be part of the final season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

For some misguided reason, I assumed that when Kim and Kanye said they were done, they were Done. And I assumed that we wouldn’t see any whiff of their doneness on the TV. However, I realize I have been played by Kris Jenner’s indomitable publicity machine, which has been cranking out “exclusive” updates to valued sources ever since their initial announcement, which I thought happened months ago, but was really just at the beginning of this month, which has felt like four full years. Here’s the latest from Page Six’s source, a shadowy figure in a bad wig named Shmis Henner (I’m guessing):

The source said, “the Kardashians intend to go out with a bang. They’ve filmed Kim discussing her marriage problems. But everybody involved is on a nondisclosure agreement, because the finale won’t screen until later in 2021.”

O….kay. So, Kim’s discussing her marital problems, Kanye either will or will not be there, and we won’t see it until way later this year? That’s fine, but also like, if you’re going to tease out this sort of drama, I want the finale of this program to be Kim and Kanye in full-on divorce court mode, like the penultimate episode of a middling HBO drama. I want fireworks, I want flames, I want Kim smashing the ceramics that populate her weird home in anger. I don’t want what I will get, which is Kim attempting to cry through her fillers while sitting on her purchased dump truck in Skims sweats as Kourtney and Khloe look on. [Page Six]

Famous people have stopped doing stuff, maybe in honor of the Inauguration, so I am hard-pressed to find any gossip. This is why I must present James Charles doing a very earnest cover of “Driver’s License.” I rebuke this, but I had to see it, and so do you.

  • Us Weekly has updated their grim “Stars: They’re Just Like Us”-adjacent slideshow featuring celebrities who have or have had covid to include Liv Tyler. (She’s fine). [Us Weekly]
  • Chrissy Teigen is “reporting” live from the nation’s capitol, aka staring out her hotel window and taking video from Twitter. [Just Jared]
  • Here’s a reminder that Katherine McPhee, 36, is pregnant with David Foster’s (71 years young) child. [Us Weekly]
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