“Dude, dude, dude. Duuuuuude. You’re doin’ it wrong. This bowl is not for going inside of. This is where the humans put the fish.”
“Oh that’s good. I like fish!”
“Yeah, fish are awesome. And then see, we sit out here and try to the fish by smacking on the side of the bowl. We go ‘STUPID FISH. YOU CAN SWIM AWAY BUT I WILL PUT MY PAW HERE AND GET YOU HAHAHA.’ I see the older cats do it all the time.”
“But wouldn’t it just be easier to climb in there and take the fish out instead of just hitting the bow—”
“DUDE. Do not question the system, OK? This is how we do the fish bowl. Do you want the other cats to think you’re a huge dork?”
“Well, no.”
“OK then. So let’s practice. Just smack the bowl like ‘SURPRISE ASSHOLE FISH. SURPRISE!'”
Annnnnnd scene. Some people spend their whole lives writing the great America novel. I write pretend cat dialogue.
