Plenty of us want to run marathons. And pay off loans. And quit smoking. And floss more. And then there were the others…
This year, you resolved, among other things:
- Be more high maintenance. This will ideally result in taking care of myself emotionally, spiritually and physically.
- Watch at least 100 films I’ve never seen before.
- Not be afraid to make a fool of myself.
- Become capable of reading a Chinese newspaper.
- Start a band. A Ramones-style punk band.
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- Only go out on dates with dudes I’m actually interested in, instead of just saying yes to be polite.
- Give myself as much credit for my successes as I do my failures.
- Remember that you are not at war with your body, that it wants to be healthy and hale, but you only get out what you put in (literally!)
- Do foolhearty things twice as much – regret them half as often.
- Spend less time in front of screens of any kind.
- “Be the bombshell I know I am.”
- No more cheap vodka.
- Join a roller derby team!
- Get rich. Seriously.
- Go on vacation by myself.
- Learn how to make puff pastry
- Hookah more.
- Give blood.
- Run naked, when weather permits.
- More “me” time! And anal sex. That’s a big one.
GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX
Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
