Less Drama, More Cupcakes & Anal: Your Resolutions For 2011

This year, you resolved, among other things:

• Be more high maintenance. This will ideally result in taking care of myself emotionally, spiritually and physically.
• Watch at least 100 films I’ve never seen before.

• Not be afraid to make a fool of myself.
• Become capable of reading a Chinese newspaper.
• Start a band. A Ramones-style punk band.

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• Only go out on dates with dudes I’m actually interested in, instead of just saying yes to be polite.
• Give myself as much credit for my successes as I do my failures.
• Remember that you are not at war with your body, that it wants to be healthy and hale, but you only get out what you put in (literally!)
• Do foolhearty things twice as much – regret them half as often.
• Spend less time in front of screens of any kind.
• “Be the bombshell I know I am.”

• No more cheap vodka.

• Join a roller derby team!
• Get rich. Seriously.

• Go on vacation by myself.
• Learn how to make puff pastry

• Hookah more.
• Give blood.
• Run naked, when weather permits.
• More “me” time! And anal sex. That’s a big one.
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