Lindsay's Jail Sentence Postponed So She Can Complete Important Work At Playboy

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As we all know, Lindsay Lohan isn’t getting any special treatment from the courts. So if you’re planning on repeatedly violating your probation and would like the judge to work around your schedule when shipping you off to the slammer for a few days, you should probably start setting up a porn shoot now. Earlier today, Lindsay was sentenced to 30 days in jail, but she may only spend hours in jail due to overcrowding. Plus, Linds wasn’t immediately locked away because her lawyer negotiated with the judge to give her time to complete her Playboy shoot. We can’t let something silly like jail time make America wait another month to see shots of Lindsay’s nether regions. [TMZ, TMZ]
Actually, scratch that. Dina Lohan has the inside scoop on these nude pics of her daughter, and she’d like to clarify that there’s no full-frontal. “It will be tastefully done,” says Dina. “She’s been working in front of the camera with Ford Models since she was a little girl so she kinda knows how to work that.” So that’s why parents get their kids into modeling — to prepare them to work it for Playboy. [The Insider

Speaking of indecent exposure, picture it: 2004. A young nation is scandalized by the sight of Janet Jackson‘s breast during a Super Bowl halftime show. Now a federal appeals court has finally ruled that the FCC was wrong to fine CBS $550,000 over the “wardrobe malfunction.” The Honorable Cassie would like to remind everyone to, “stop acting like you haven’t seen a titty before.” [USA Today]

As you know, Justin Bieber is going through his very first paternity suit. They grow up so fast! He Tweeted, “Im going to ignore the rumors…and focus on what is real. an opportunity to help by doing what i love. Judge me on the music! Love yall!” [TMZ]
Justin Bieber says he’s also not the adoptive father of Selena Gomez‘s puppy. When asked if he got a new dog he said, “A friend of mine did. I don’t have anything to do with the dog. I think he’s a cute dog, but he’s not my dog. I love dogs and I condone people adopting from the shelter.” [E!]

A source with intimate knowledge of Jessica Simpson‘s birth control habits says she and Eric Johnson are “really excited. [The pregnancy] wasn’t something they planned per se, but it’s also not something they were trying to avoid.” Also, they’re still “really committed” to tying the knot, but they’re waiting until after the baby is born. [People]

  • Forget about the divorce papers, now it’s really over: Kim Kardashian is no longer following Kris Humpries on Twitter. [E!]
  • Last night Ashton Kutcher took his mind off his troubles by partying in L.A. with his That ’70s Show co-stars Danny Masterson and Wilmer Valderrama. [E!]
  • Kate Gosselin‘s post-TLC gig: blogging about coupons. [Radar]
  • Blake Lively says the number of Louboutins she owns is “embarassing.” Poor thing. If it’s really that bad she can always donate them to children in third world countries who only have one or two pairs of Louboutins and hit up DSW. [People]
  • Here’s Jessica Biel on her dream of ruining your favorite lady movie: “The Notebook. That’s one that I wanted so badly. I was in the middle of shooting Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and I auditioned with Ryan Gosling in my trailer – covered in blood. [Director] Nick Cassavetes put me through the wringer in an interesting, excitingly creative way. But there’s a million that get away. We’re gluttons for punishment. It’s just rejection.” [Popsugar]
  • Mindy Kaling says alternate titles for her book included, “The Book That Was Never a Blog,” “When Your Boyfriend Fits Into Your Jeans and Other Atrocities” and “I Don’t Know How She Does It, But I Suspect She Gets Help from Illegal Immigrants.” [The Wrap]
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