Madonna Helps Jesus Get Record Deal; Yoanna House Talks About New Look

CelebritiesDirt Bag
  • Ha! The headline on this story about Her Madgesty getting Hay-Sooz a record deal is: “Madonna Plays God For Jesus.”

Anyway, Jesus will be on the Warner Music label. His first single, “We Came From Light,” will be released in May. You can listen to it here. Honestly? I don’t hate it. [The Sun]

  • Jesus Luz was DJing in Rio when someone threw beer in his face and said, “Get out of here, I don’t wanna see your face here anymore!” Jesus reportedly “went to a corner and started to cry.” [Page Six]
  • Alec Baldwin is ready to host the Oscars, and viewers should expect to see wardrobe changes! “It’s a very metrosexualized kind of a show now,” Alec claims. [AP]
  • Former America’s Next Top Model contestant Yoanna House says: “I know that I’ve changed. I just had a baby about a year ago, and I put on a lot of weight… My baby doesn’t sleep through the night, so that might age you a little bit. Other than that, I’ve never done anything to my face, besides going a little too overboard with bronzer.” Okay! And the rest of you? “I did enhance my breasts,” she admits. “That was a personal decision I decided to make a couple of years ago. I wasn’t happy with the way I looked. I thought I had a boyish figure. I wanted to look more womanly, and I think it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.” If you missed her new look, click here. [E!]
  • Simon Cowell and Ellen Degeneres: Not getting along, not even trying to hide it. [TMZ]
  • What do we think of Kelly Ripa‘s tattoo of her husband’s last name? [NYDN]
  • Axl Rose and Scarlett Johansson played ping-pong together. [Page Six]
  • Pretty good piece on Precious star Gabby Sidibe at the link. A sample: “I have a strong desire to continue acting,” she says. “I would love to be funny. I think I am funny. I wonder if that would translate into film. But also, I wouldn’t shut the door on drama. I’d like to do anything and everything I can get my hands on.” And she’s not taking her boyfriend — a “regular person” to the Oscars: “We’ve only been together four months,” she says, lowering her voice into a conspiratorial whisper. “He hasn’t earned the Oscar ticket.” [USA Today]
  • I’ll admit, I am looking forward to checking out Jessica Simpson‘s new show, The Price Of Beauty. She meditated with monks in Thailand and also walked a fashion runway in Paris. She says the show changed her “completely”: “I haven’t always had an inner confidence and I haven’t always looked at my reflection and loved it.” [Us Magazine]
  • Snoop Dogg and his entourage caused a scene and this is news. [Gatecrasher]
  • The Saturday Night Live March schedule is out and Betty White is not on it. [MSNBC Scoop]
  • If you smell hair product, it’s because Jersey Shore‘s Snooki, Sammi and Ronnie are in Manhattan. [Gatecrasher]
  • This PETA billboard with Tiger Woods on it is recockulous. [Extra]
  • Tiger Woods is in rehab in Arizona to kick his addiction to painkillers and sleeping pills. [NY Post]
  • Nadya Suleman says she lost weight for the money. “I’m very, very open and honest about that.” And: “It is a Catch-22. If I go back to school… I couldn’t possibly earn enough money to take care of them… So the only other option is to delve into other opportunities…you know, doing interviews… to make the money.” [Us Magazine]
  • John Krasinski might be Captain America. [Reuters]
  • Charlie Sheen‘s daughter says rehab is a “positive thing” for him. Ya think? [Radar Online]
  • “Exclusive: Charlie Sheen‘s Wife Has Been Hiding Crack Addiction And Alcoholism.” [Radar Online]
  • Jon Cryer says of Charlie Sheen, his Two And A Half Men costar, “The important thing is Charlie gets healthy.” [TMZ]
  • We’ve heard this before, but the rumors keep swirling: Jennifer Lopez says breaking it off with her record label was a mutual decision, but an “insider” says: “Jennifer’s traditional fan base of young women and girls is now more interested in artists like Beyonce or Rihanna or Lady Gaga.” [Sun Times]
  • Jennifer Lopez says: “I am making this statement to put an end to any confusion in regards to my next album, titled Love. I have belonged to the Sony family since the beginning of my career as a singer and together we’ve had great success. I have fulfilled my contractual responsibilities with Sony/Epic up to this point, and we have both reached friendly terms about my departure from the label. I’m also happy to say that we’ve found a new home for my album Love and that it is slated for release in the summer of 2010.” [Jam! Music]
  • Michael Jackson‘s mother, Katherine Jackson, is okaying and lending her name to a Michael Fanfest in Gary, Indiana in August. Roger Friedman writes: “This is almost too sad to write about. If only Robert Altman were alive, he could film it as the sequel to Nashville.” The event will feature a MJ’s first cousin, a self-published author named Aphrodite Jones, and Omer Bhatti, “the Michael Jackson imitator who is NOT Michael’s son but has tried his best to cash in on that rumor.” [Showbiz 411]
  • Early video of Ke$ha — when she was 13. [Radar Online]
  • Oh, dear: 50 Cent allegedly edited himself as a wig-wearing narrator into some lady’s sex tape and then posted on the internet. He is, of course, being sued. [AP]
  • Samantha Ronson is DJing a lesbian party in Palm Springs and this is news. And also, someone wrote, “Could Samantha Ronson be looking for love at the right place?” Durr. [Access Hollywood]
  • George Lopez owes $21,000 to a foundation which helps battered women and kids. [Page Six]
  • Which smiley lady with long dark hair will replace co-host Samantha Harris (who quit) on Dancing With The Stars? Some “contenders”: Melissa Rycroft, Vanessa Minnillo and Brooke Burke. Smiley? Check! Long, dark hair? Check! There’s also a rumor that Kelly Osbourne could do it, which I would love, because I unabashedly love her. The end. [MSNBC Scoop]
  • Friends fear that missing Growing Pains actor Andrew Koenig has taken his life. [Us Magazine]
  • A feud involving Notorious BIG? Just like old times! [TMZ]
  • Rolling Stone guitarist Ronnie Wood is selling his £7 million house… to pay for his divorce. [The Sun]
  • Matt Lucas is a Littler Briton as he slims down on doctor’s orders” [Daily Mail]
  • Q: Why bring back the [Plastic Ono Band] now? Yoko Ono: Well, because I should have continued it all my life. I just stopped using it after John passed away. It happened in a very strange way because of Sean. He just called me and said, “Is it all right to use the name?” I said, “Why would we do that?” I blocked it because John passed away. Then I thought about it and I thought, “That’s it.” It’s a band John named for me. For Sean, it’s his dad. It would be wrong to drop it. [SF Gate]
  • “It was just wonderful to spend time with Angelina and Brad and the children. I’ve been waiting so long to hug my grandchildren and it was amazing, they are the most beautiful, loving kids you could imagine and I’m not just saying that because I’m their grandfather, they really are something special. Angelina and Brad are so happy together and they are the most amazing, loving parents I’ve ever seen. It truly moved me to see how Angie is as a mom, I am so proud of her – she has so much love to give and to share with the children and with Brad.” — Jon Voight is a gushing gramps! [Radar Online]
  • “We’re living in a pretty strange time. I went into a shop to buy my wife some clothes and I wanted them gift-wrapped. And they had this big plasma screen on with these women on the catwalk. I thought, ‘God almighty, what have we become?’ These girls — anorexic, walking like machines, no soul. You look at fashion magazines and you think, ‘What are we living in?’ You look at the red carpet, Paris Hilton, you know, these people and you think, ‘Is there anything going on up there?’ It’s a mass enslavement and it’s kind of fascism. And it’s the androgyny of it; the androgyny of the human soul. I don’t think people think any more. But maybe I’m just old.” — Anthony Hopkins. [Daily Express]
  • “I think people always deserve a second chance. Whatever [Tiger Woods’s] personal life is – and I think this goes for me and him – his personal life is his personal life. Nobody has the right to place judgment or make any judgment on somebody else’s personal life when they’re not directly involved with them.” — Chris Brown. [MSNBC via Mojo In The Morning]
  • “To complete the news cycle: I am not buying an island and am not selling my house in Italy. The story was made up, then picked up and now denied. End of another riveting day of false news,” — George Clooney. [People]
  • Victoria Beckham should get a life. I am not a fan of outrageous consumption. I think it is vulgar. And no one should flaunt that they have a hundred Hermes $12,000 bags. Not when people are starving. Everyone should be allowed to have a great time, but she shows a distinct lack of class.” — Joan Rivers. [MSNBC via Closer]
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