Makeup's Dirty Little Secret: Covering the Scars of Abuse
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Two days before CoverGirl, the NFL’s “official beauty partner,” was forced to respond to the league’s handling of the Ray Rice case, I helped three girls on the internet find concealer to cover up their bruises and self-harm scars. I often write about beauty and makeup, and sometimes women will email me and ask me in private how to help. I usually send them a list of concealers and resources every time—resources that I know work because I’ve used them before. There’s been some discussion about the complexities of the beauty industry’s relationship to abuse, especially on Jezebel, and much of it is linked to CoverGirl. But not much of it focuses on the complexities of shame and visibility speaking from the side of the abused.
Putting aside radical notions of makeup as some patriarchal tool of oppression or a harmful lie we tell for wearing it: lots of us use makeup to feel great about ourselves. It’s kind of a sisterhood, you know, to be able to talk to other people who wear makeup about what they like, and why. We’re an international community of secrets and eyeshadow. But our conversations usually stop short of serious discussions about the other reasons we sometimes wear it: we wear makeup to confront someone else, to protect ourselves. We wear makeup to escape our bodies and anxieties, to tell people we’re OK—because if we can tell them we’re going to be OK, then maybe eventually we will be.
There’s a lot of pressure put on survivors of domestic violence once the abuse has been revealed, and not much understanding for why we don’t just leave and instead cover up our bodies and stay in these situations for months or years at a time. As Twitter has proven, everyone has their own reasons for #whytheystay and #whytheyleave. Concealer plays into both stories. Let’s face it: you’d be too scared to talk to us if we were really visible. People get preachy. People see us differently; we cease to become capable friends and more a story for you to conclude. So many women stay invisible out of this sense of independence and this sense of utterly dependent, desperate hope for love. At least, I did. That was me. I’m not alone, though. One in four women are abused in their lifetime, and most domestic violence incidents are, like mine, never reported. Janay Palmer went so far as to publicly apologize for her role in the abuse—and I understand how she feels. Besides the fact that evidently 25 percent of women are abused at one point or another, as survivors, we’re punished economically at the workplace, with 27 percent of victims reporting job loss as a result of violence.
I think about these statistics and compare them to the fact that approximately 52 concealers are purchased in drugstores alone every minute in the United States. How many of those products are purchased by girls who need to cover up bruises? The beauty industry doesn’t track those numbers, but considering the fact that 1 in 5 women are abused by their partners, we could say that about 10 of those objects of vanity were reasonably purchased by abuse victims. This isn’t counting online purchases made in the United States, or purchases from beauty retailers—just drugstores. So it would be safe to double that number. And isn’t that horrifying? Isn’t that significant? A portion of the purchases in the beauty industry are made because of domestic violence.