Man Seriously Aroused By Walmart


Travis Keen was arrested on an obscenity charge earlier this week. A witness called the cops, reporting that a man was driving a Ford Taurus around the Walmart parking lot “with his penis exposed.” When an officer stopped Keen, he admitted that he did, in fact, have his dick out of his pants.

According to the police report:

Keen stated when he comes to Walmart he gets aroused.

It’s just… Walmart seems so generic! Wouldn’t you be more likely to get aroused by Bloomingdale’s? Perhaps I’m a snob.

In any case, Apparently Keen had some “past experiences” at the store, and that’s why he gets aroused there. It’s unknown whether these experiences involved another person, or an affordably priced lawn chair. That Rollback smiley face always looks creepily enthused, though.

“When He Comes To Walmart He Gets Aroused.” [The Smoking Gun]

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