Mariah Carey Hospitalized with Contractions

CelebritiesDirt Bag

The birth of the Mariah Carey twins is imminent, as the stars foretold, but their arrival in this world is yet delayed. The expert at emotional gesturing and her Wildin’ Out husband experienced a false alarm last night when Mariah begin having contractions. She was sent home from the hospital today and tweeted all about it. Their due date is still a couple of weeks away.

I wonder if they’ll cry in the whistle register. [People]
The next installment of the Sex and the City franchise will feature younger actresses playing the Boresome Foursome in their college years. Sarah Jessica Parker is reportedly not happy to be excluded from the theoretical possible future film. Based on the sparkle abortion that was the second SATC film, the plot of the third might go a little something like this: Younger versions of Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and the redhead who is awesome but who no one says they identify with because she’s the least conventionally attractive stumble through the Vietnam War in perilously high heels, complaining that the men are “unfuckable” and wishing that there was such thing as Agent Orange for pubes while injured soldiers beg for water around them. Lessons are learned. Things are purchased. Temporary happiness is obtained. [Showbiz Spy]
Elizabeth Taylor expected to come home from the hospital and even had her bedroom redecorated to await her arrival. [Digital Spy]
Britney Spears was disgusted when she learned about sex at age 12, y’all. [Showbiz Spy]
Gwyneth Paltrow strained a muscle in her armpit while she was filming Country Strong (which, when you think about it, would be a great name for a brand of deodorant). Maybe she strained an armpit muscle because the film- get ready for it- stinks. [Contact Music]
Sylvester Stallone is starting a fashion line. It is just sweatpants and machine guns. [Showbiz Spy]
Matthew McConaughey has a signature cocktail. Two parts bare chest, one part headband, one part smirk, shake and serve over a glass of Kate Hudson. It tastes like mediocrity, but Southern. [Contact Music]
Mel Gibson went out to a club last night, where he presumably did The Robot. [TMZ]
Before her death, Elizabeth Taylor revealed that James Dean had told her that he had been molested by his minister when he was a child. And if you can’t trust a journalist who said they “secretly” interviewed an aging star who is now dead who was speaking about another dead movie star, who can you trust? [Showbiz Spy]
Robert De Niro is continuing to act like someone that young Robert De Niro might want to beat up by starring in another (?) movie with Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson. Be careful with Fiddy, Bobby; he’s made it clear that he’s into having sex but not into making love. [Digital Spy]
Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake are totally getting it on, but Mila is trying to cool things down so that she doesn’t look like a “homewrecker.” Here’s a good tip on how not to look like a “homewrecker:” don’t wear a steam shovel costume or run around declaring that you enjoy going into people’s homes and detonating. [Showbiz Spy]
In news that will delight internet pile-oners everywhere, Rebecca Black is going to record a debut album that she swears will silence critics. And then The Internet will mercilessly mock it behind Rebecca Black’s back and secretly plot the Ultimate Humiliation for her- electing her prom queen. And then they’ll dump pig’s blood on Rebecca Black and her powers will be activated and she’ll be so angry she’ll set the whole internet on fire and everyone will die except like two people and boy won’t we feel like assholes then? [Digital Spy]
Vanessa Hudgens loves being single. She’s out partying and doing crazy things like, I don’t know, wearing penis necklaces and going to gay bars with her girlfriends and cheering. [Contact Music]

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