MasterChef Junior Was Fun and All, But I Hope We're Done With Kids Now


A couple nights ago, Julian Alexander, the most convincing argument that reincarnation is real (no one can tell me that kid is not Julia Child), won MasterChef Junior, a toned-down version of The Hunger Games where children are yelled at by an angry English person instead of killing each other. Oh well, maybe the murder will start next season?

For those of you who missed it, the whole show is currently available on Hulu, and it’s a delight to the senses (mainly the eyes and ears) for people who love to watch kids mimic adult behavior. If you’ve always wanted to see a 9-year-old girl say something like “I didn’t come here to make friends” (but you’re NINE!), then you’re in for a treat. Kind of.

While I enjoyed the show, it’s not clear to me why entertainment like this is so popular. Adults cook competitively, so now kids have to; adults participate in a reality singing competition, and then we put kids in as well. I (reluctantly) recognize that MILF island* wasn’t a real show, but how far are we from a Big Brother Sexy Juniors edition? (Shit, I hope I didn’t give CBS any ideas.)

It’s hard enough to bear the onslaught of adult reality TV “stars”, and the thought of them coming in junior mint size is pretty much unbearable. We see what fame can do to many kids, and it’s not something most of us would wish upon a child. If the success of MasterChef Junior signals development execs everywhere to greenlight every reality show staring an ambitious tween, are we gonna soon be living in a world of tiny Teresa Giudices? Because YIKES.

*Plus, I’d really love to just see some more decent sitcoms, ya know? Because Milf Island looked pretty hilarious, but 30 Rock was a goddamned gem.

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