My Friend Is Dating an Underage Woman and It Creeps Me Out
LatestWelcome to Friendzone, Jezebel’s column devoted to dealing with the valuable people in your life whom you’re not humping. Got an issue and looking for guidance? Email [email protected].
I have a guy friend who is 26 and just started dating a 17-year-old. In our state, that’s illegal. It really creeps me out. Should I say anything?
Yes, you ought to say something to him! I mean, when my future boyfriend Gordon Ramsay posted on Twitter the other day that he’d broken his toe, I totally “said” something to him (“You finally kicked somebody, didn’t you?”) In our society, it’s perfectly commonplace to remark on random bullshit things to strangers on the Internet. Why wouldn’t you say something to a real-life friend who is actually doing a real big something that could seriously hurt him or someone else? (Just don’t say it on Twitter.)
I say you take friend-o out to a bar (you know, where his child-bride can’t go) and have a chat with him. Tell him you’re concerned about this relationship and its legal implications. Ask him if this young woman’s parents know about the situation. And ask him what he sees in her (besides the obvious youthful hotness).
Ideal situation: he tells you her parents know about it and are cool with it, they’re very happy together, he respects her intellect and kind spirit, and oh, by the way, she’s turning 18 tomorrow.
It’s really up to you to decide how you want to proceed after that. At the very least, make sure you’re not around this kid when she’s consuming alcohol and/or whatever other adult things you and your friends do.
Also, she was probably born in 1996. Just putting that out there so the commentariat can feel the grossness I currently feel answering this question.
And yes, dear Prudence, I know that Gordon and I have a far greater age difference than do your friend and his baby girl. But Gordon and I are both legal adults, and also we are destined to be together, so.
My boyfriend and I are both in our early 30s and live together. I cannot stand the majority of his friends nor relate to them, as they’re pretty much all losers. Some still live at home with their parents, are unemployed, or are starving artists who are constantly trying to make it but don’t have legitimate day jobs. How can my guy NOT see that these old high school friends aren’t positive influences in his life? All of my friends and I have a college education, have traveled, and have decent jobs and pay our taxes. If we were in an expensive city like New York, San Francisco, or Honolulu, I completely understand why a single person would still be living at home. But we don’t live in a city that unaffordable. Do I continue to not say anything and just grin and bear it, hoping he’ll let go of them on his own? Or do I need to reexamine my relationship with my boyfriend entirely, and question why he continues to hang out with such ghetto people?