Nicki Minaj Wants Michael B. Jordan to Help Her Out of This Gown

CelebritiesDirt Bag

Last night was the People’s Choice Awards and Nicki Minaj, who was presented with an award for Female Artist of 2018, chose none other than Michael B. Jordan. While giving her speech, Minaj first shouted out Kim Kardashian’s ass in her dress, before stating: “Shoutout to Versace for specially making me this dress and shoutout to Michael B. Jordan because he’s going to be taking it off me tonight.” Okay.

Michael B. Jordan has a face which reminds me of a very handsome chipmunk. I understand being attracted to him, though it’s a feeling I don’t share. I also have more than one friend who’s met him in person, plus my own calculations of his height while standing next to Lupita Nyong’o, who is 5’5″, so despite his proclamations of being “six foot even” last year on the internet, I am gauging his height at a solid 5’8″. With that being said, I do believe Nicki was joking, and Jordan is allegedly spoken for, but the moment was… fun? If what Nicki wants is a short, buff king, then Nicki should have herself a short, buff king.


Tekashi69, who was recently sentenced to probation stemming from charges of using a child in a sexual performance, hired the two strip club bartenders, Jade and Baddie Gi, who were previously linked to a disagreement with Cardi B. As the women were hired to appear in a music video for Tekashi’s song with Kanye West and Nicki Minaj, I have no doubts that the dig was intentional.

I really wish he would get his veneers properly sized, it’s so off-putting. He reminds me of a recurring dream I had as a younger woman, in which I gave birth to a baby who emerged from the womb with a full mouth of adult celebrity-sized veneers. Tom Cruise did to celebrity smiles what the Kardashians did to asses.


  • Michelle Williams and fiance speak about abstaining from sex. [Oh No They Didn’t]
  • Larissa Dos Santos Lima, of 90 Day Fiance, arrested for domestic battery. [Us Magazine]
  • Kim Kardashian held “quiet intervention” for Kanye, who refuses to take his prescribed psych meds. [Radar Online]
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