Nicole Richie and Joel Madden Getting Hitched Today

CelebritiesDirt Bag
  • After four years and two babies, Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are officially becoming the Richie-Maddens, which will affect how they file taxes. To celebrate, they held a tabloid bidding war on their wedding photos. Stars: they’re just like us!
  • The couple plans on giving the money to charity, so it’s cool if they’re making those tabloids pay up bigtime. [NY Post]
  • Richie kicked a Chanel gown to the curb, settling on a custom-made, $20,000 Marchesa. Byron from Byron+Tracy will fix up her hair. [E Online]
  • Samantha Ronson‘s going to be a Richie-Madden bridesmaid. [E Online]
  • Miley Cyrus‘s salvia encounter has prompted an anti-salvia legislator in California to resurrect his proposal to ban the stuff. Salvia is Cali’s most pressing issue. [TMZ]
  • Chris Rock used his humor to help calm a pregnant woman whose water broke at a New Jersey shopping mall. Aw, Chris Rock shops at the mall like a regular person! Wonder if he like Orange Julius. [OMG]
  • Harrison Ford is the “quintessential cowboy,” at least by Hollywood standards. [Contact Music]
  • Kelly Rowland told Usher to make his music more dance-oriented, and he listened and now look at him. [Contact Music]
  • “Guess Joan Rivers‘ age” is a fun lunchtime game that NYC real estate superstar Barbara Corcoran and her friends play. But it’s a monotonous game, because the answer changes only once a year. [NY Post]
  • Tonsillitis scare on the Glee set! Who was affected? Nobody’s saying. Maybe they can’t talk right now. [Contact Music]
  • Rihanna and Matt Kemp sound over. Supposedly, they both cheated too much. Maybe now that they’re off, they can cheat with each other, and begin the relationship cycle anew. [Hello Beautiful]
  • Worst Dad Ever Michael Lohan shot up his face with the Botox and videotaped the procedure to put in a time capsule or something. Now Dina Lohan is suing him for child support money. Dina ain’t so great either, but she wins this round. [TMZ]
  • As for Michael Lohan‘s 15-year-old maybe-daughter, who he’s also supporting, he says, “I never admitted it was my child … I’m paying to stay out of jail.” Wow, “it”! A father’s love. [NY Post]
  • Mark Wahlberg used to be a “man-child with Boy Scout dimples and a ripped torso whose squinty hazel eyes belied a dangerous sexuality … a paragon of swagger.” Now he’s a famous actor. [Daily Beast]
  • Justin Bieber is juggling two young women: Selena Gomez and Jasmine Villegas. “Two older women on the go aged 16 is pretty impressive stuff,” says “source.” Yeah, if you mean the impressive stuff of EXPLOSIVE DRAMA and BROKEN HEARTS. Probably gonna see some break-up songs emerge from this sitch. [The Sun]
  • Michael Jackson‘s fans don’t want the Discovery Channel to show a “gruesome” special called “”Michael Jackson’s Autopsy,” a re-eanactment of his autopsy, because it’s an “affront to human dignity.” Seriously, who thought people wanted to watch this? [TMZ]
  • Angelina Jolie leaves all the picture-taking up to her shutterbug beau, Mr. Brad Pitt, and it annoys him (she thinks). Brangelina’s on the rocks! [Contact Music]
  • Pax Jolie-Pitt, age seven, wears designer jeans that cost $100. Hm, maybe his parents being loaded has something to do with his fashion choices. [Radar]
  • Pax might consider spotting Jesse James a couple of G’s from his allowance: James owes $50K in legal fees. [Radar]
  • Heather Morris might become the next Buffy. [ONTD]
  • Drew Carey doesn’t have cancer, says Drew Carey. So just cut it out (the bullshit, not the imaginary cancer!). [Contact Music]
  • Barbara Walters‘ pick for most-fascinating person of 2010? General David Petraeus. He didn’t even release a men’s fragrance! [Washington Post]
  • Strictly Come Dancing judge something something is calling Susan Boyle a “one-hit wonder” who has no technique. He’s probably jealous. [The Star]
  • Selena Gomez and Kim Kardashian both attended the Z100 Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden. Did they talk about Justin Bieber? He performed a new song, “I Only Love You Selena Jasmine Kim.” [Just Jared]
  • Nick Cannon told a roomful of people that his dad ruined the Santa myth for him. The people felt sorry for Nick and gifted him with diet tips. [NY Post]
  • Nicole Scherzinger doesn’t believe in diets because she likes to eat food (weird!) and thinks that moderation plus activity equals answer to maintaining the weight you want. [Contact Music]
  • Ooh, a new trailer for ThorNatalie Portman‘s next movie. No ballet in this one—just a warrior from the planet Asgard, or Sarsgaard. [Just Jared]
  • Sienna Miller wants Keira Knightley‘s life. Keira just bakes and reads and hangs out, while Sienna has to hold down a second job as an accountant. [Contact Music]
  • Jodie Sweetin, who should probably just legally change her name to Stephanie Tanner, owes California $30,000 in taxes. That sucks. [TMZ]
  • Rachel Dratch won’t be celebrating the holidays because her newborn son doesn’t know what holidays are, and he won’t care one way or the other. [Showbiz Spy]
  • Christina Aguilera and Matthew Rutler went clubbin’ in London and dressed up like emo kids. [Just Jared]
  • The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills housewives donated a bunch of their clothes to an auction benefiting Dress for Success, which helps low-income women with career stuff. [OMG]
  • Dane Cook will star in a Hawaii Five-O episode. Still waiting for him to do something cool. [EW]
  • WSJ columnist Joe Queenan comes up with this new one for describing Taylor Swift: “remorsely ubiquitous.” [WSJ]
  • Is a cricket player chasing Liz Hurley? [The Sun]
  • Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi went skydiving in Australia. Where was Ryan Adams? [ONTD]
  • Reese Witherspoon Googles herself when she’s feeling “self-loathing.” Yo Reese, if you’re reading this—hey! Don’t loathe yourself. [Just Jared]
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