Old Man Lauer Wants You to Get Off His Lawn


Matt Lauer, who currently owns a giant, 16,000 acre ranch in New Zealand, would like you to get the hell off of his property.

The New York Times reports that the former Today show host, fired after reports of predatory sexual harassment, is fighting with the New Zealand government after hikers keep crossing his ranch to get to the apparently gorgeous Hawea Conservation Park. Going through Lauer’s property at Hunter Valley Station is one of the only ways to access the park and since Lauer bought the property he’s only let 100 people cross through.

The government’s Walking Access Commission wants to grant people more access to Lauer’s property to get to the park, but the Times reports that he is not having it. He’s requesting “hundreds of thousands” of dollars or more for opening up his property to those New Zealanders who want a bit of fresh air and to hunt some deer, though the prime minister said that Lauer would never receive public money. Lauer also told Radio New Zealand that those pushing for more access to this conservation park were taking advantage of him because of the “difficult times” and that he was “an easy mark.”

Did I mention this ranch is 16,000 acres already? I did, didn’t I. Just let the people through Lauer, you greedy bastard!

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