Paleontology is a Scam, According to Cam'ron! [UPDATED]

By Joan Summers  |  December 13, 2019 | 4:12pm
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Paleontology is a Scam, According to Cam'ron! [UPDATED]
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RIP to the dinosaurs, but humans are different. They may have been blessed with an early exit from this hellish plane of existence, but we’re still kicking, hanging their corpses in museums and gluing them back together so that some dude can remake Jurassic Park for the millionth time. But just because we can’t perceive them without the vastly complication science of Paleontology or 3D imaging technology, doesn’t mean dinosaurs never existed. I believe the phenomenon is known as “object permanence”—or, the understanding that physical objects don’t need human eyeballs on them to inhabit the material plane. Someone should sit Killa Cam down and explain this to him!

Page Six reports that on Thursday’s episode of podcast ItsTheReal, Cam’ron bravely explained to hosts Eric and Jeff Rosenthal: “I have fights with people about dinosaurs.” He went on to explain that the entire science of paleontology “sounds like a money maker,” questioning how some bones that have sat in the earth for millions and millions of years could be re-assembled by modern scientists. “They throw these big bones, pause, up in a museum, and then be like, ‘Yo, these are the people that were here before us …’ I mean, pardon me or whatever.”

The problem for Cam is that he doesn’t understand how they don’t just “crumble or anything like that,” and still thinks we need “a little more proof.” I am not an expert in paleontology by any means, but the fact that there’s an entire suite of science disciplines beyond just the curators that “glue the bones together” should be all the proof that Cam needs. Interestingly, he admits: “I wish I could be an archaeologist and be like, ‘I found some shit.’ I’d be at the beach every day like, ‘Yo, look what I discovered,’ and just make some shit up.” Maybe his inability to grasp the existence of dinosaurs is actually jealousy! (Although, how much do paleontologists actually make for digging some bones up? Any bone-digger-uppers care to comment?) Thankfully, he doesn’t think the world is flat! Bone mysteries I can live with. A flat-earth Cam’ron, however, would’ve left me despondent.

While the American Museum of Natural History has not directly responded to my request for comment, the publicist I spoke with mentioned that she’d seen Cam’ron’s comments. In my head, I like to imagine that the museum was abuzz with the gossip, with hundreds of dinosaur scientists rapidly googling Page Six. If and when their paleontologists get back to me, I will absolutely follow up on this breaking story! [Page Six]

Update, 11:33 am: When asked if there were helpful resources for Cam’ron to learn about the many wonders of dinosaurs, the American Museum of Natural History pointed me to “these explainer dinosaur videos (part of our Space vs. Dinos series) that tackle topics like how we find dinosaur fossils, whether an asteroid killed the dinosaurs, and if dinosaurs are still alive today…they are—as birds!”

Meanwhile, when asked if It’s the Real believes in dinosaurs, hosts Eric and Jeff Rosenthal responded, “Yes. AN UNQUESTIONED YES.” Glad we’ve cleared that up!

Ben Affleck allegedly has the “utmost respect” for his ex-wife Jennifer Garner, despite the two recently photographed having an “explosive” stand-off shortly after Thanksgiving. A source close to the family tells Us Weekly that the famous divorcées want to “coparent and spend the holidays together.” They continue: “Jen puts up with a lot and does everything she can to keep it together — she wants Ben to be in the kids’ lives. That means dealing with things she isn’t happy about.” That probably means driving him to and from his various appointments while he demands she stop at his favorite haunt Jack in the Box. (If you’re reading Ben, I’d love to know your favorite order!)

It is interesting though, coupled with yesterday’s Aniston-Pitt news, to ponder the state of those all-consuming ‘aughts celebrity pairings as we close another decade out. Brangelina have long crumbled to dust, Pittiston are doing “fine,” and Bennifer 2.0 are constantly fighting but “coparenting,” Spears and Federline are still battling over custody in court, Nicole Kidman isn’t speaking to her children with Tom Cruise. And speaking of Tom Cruise, he’s probably seen Suri—his daughter with Katie Holmes—maybe three times this decade?

Regardless, I really am hoping for the best with Affleck and Garner. He’s trying to piece his life back together; she has chickens to raise. Everyone is just doing the best they can! [Us Weekly]

Everyone thinks that Beyoncé was interviewed by Kris Jenner on Music World Entertainment back in 1992. I am here to inform you that unfortunately, that’s just what everyone looked like in 1992.

 
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