People Magazine and Us Weekly Point At Each Other and Scream for a While

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People Magazine and Us Weekly Point At Each Other and Scream for a While
Illustration:Joan Summers/Jezebel

Sometimes, when children are small, you have to teach them how to share their toys with others. It’s too bad brands and companies aren’t people and were never children learning nursery rhymes about sharing the letter blocks with their classmates. I’m sure the lesson could have helped executives at People and Us Weekly, who are now fighting over who owns the rights to declare one man the sexiest person alive.

Page Six reports that a poll ran on Us Weekly’s website last week soliciting votes for the “Real Sexiest Men Alive,” as well as a cover mockup featuring The Rock, Jason Momoa, and Chris Hemsworth that read: “Voted by you! The real sexiest men alive!” Shortly after, lawyers from People allegedly sent a legal warning to their competitor, pointing to their trademark on the phrase “Sexiest Man Alive” they’ve held since September 17, 2002. A source from inside People also told Page Six:

“This seems like such a futile and ridiculous attempt to compete with People. Everyone knows that SMA has been an integral part of People for more than 30 years and it’s a franchise that we protect and guard very closely.”

Tipsters inside Us Weekly, however, say that they hope “to have everything sorted out ‘amicably, soon.’” Seems too easy a conclusion, in my opinion! Sorting things out, like we’re children having our apology facilitated by a pre-school teacher ? I know I previously advocated for peaceful solutions, but it feels like the logical next step is all of us declaring ourselves the sexiest men alive. People can’t sue everyone, if everyone is sexy. [Page Six]

Am I imagining it, or did Shark Tank have a speaker system for babies in the womb? The concept seems like something these tech vultures would already be marketing to pregnant women, especially those with large Instagram followings. Like Ashley Graham! The expecting mother revealed on Instagram that she’s already having her baby listen to her podcast, Pretty Big Deal with Ashley Graham, which is a necessary early development step for any celebrity offspring. It would also be made easier with a speaker system!

There’s a more cynical take on this photo, which is that it’s a synergistic advertisement for the fact that Gayle King was on her podcast. With the amount of press her pregnancy has gotten, it’d be logical to use that brief window of time to sell products and content back to the tabloids. Which clearly works, considering the 200 words or so now being written about it! [The Blast]

Look at all these babies today.

  • RHOC’s Kelly Dodd is getting married to a Fox News anchor, the only type of person more loud and wrong than she is! [Page Six]
  • Kanye West and Joel Osteen are handing out tickets to church now. [TMZ]
  • Alicia Keys will play two more pianos at the 2020 Grammys. [ET]
  • Teresa Giudice reveals all about her Italian getaway with Joe Giudice. [People]
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