Pink Ouija Board: Finally, One Girls Can Use!

“It has always been mysterious. It has always been mystifying. And now the OUIJA Board is just for you, girl. With 72 fun questions included, you’ll never run out of things to ask. Who will call/text me next? Will I be a famous actor someday?” Why does this exist?

At first glance, we thought, oh, this is another Breast cancer Awareness pinkening, albeit a weird one. Or, you know, maybe some reference to the third Sunday in Lent, or French academic medicine! But, no, doesn’t look like it. AV Club does a swell job skewering the absurdity, offensiveness and general reek of desperation of this ludicrous marketing gambit, and we can do no better. But in our minds, this raises a few important questions:

1. How many boys are playing with Ouija boards? Maybe some eccentric neo-goth with an affected Alastair Crowley fixation, but isn’t it primarily a slumber-party thing at this point? I’d guess that this is already a pretty lady-friendly product.

2. What the hell kind of guiding spirit is this aberration going to attract? Glinda the Good Witch? Jayne Mansfield? Roxy Carmichael? (Okay, that would actually be incredible.) Way to take all the creepiness and mystery and point out of it, Parker Bros.! Even Edgar Cayce wouldn’t think this dud was capable of conjuring the devil!

3. Does this herald a new movement of Barbie-Spiritualism? Watch this space for rose-tinted ectoplasm and bubble-print, heart-dotted, automatic-writing kits!

Girls Like To Look At Pink While Contacting The Dead
[AV Club]
The pink oujia board [The F Word]

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