Please Don't Insult Rudy Giuliani, a Literal Knight Who Is 'Wide Awake,' by Suggesting He Drinks Too Much


When MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough suggested on Tuesday that Rudy Giuliani over-indulges in the liquor department (he said Trump originally didn’t hire Giulinani because he was “falling asleep in meetings” and “drinking too much”), the latter was quite offended! How dare Joe Scarborough say something rude-y about Rudy?

“None of that is true,” Giuliani told Politico on Tuesday. “I’m not sleeping now. I’m in Dallas. I’m wide awake. I’ve handled numerous cases including some sensitive cyber matters. I’m a lot more aware and intelligent than Joe has ever been and a lot more accomplished. Joe hasn’t been knighted by the Queen of England. He hasn’t run a U.S. attorney’s office, much less a city that he turned around or went through 9/11.”

Do you hear that? Rudy Giuliani, a knight, is wide awake. And in Dallas. Everyone knows you cannot be asleep there.

“I’m not drinking for lunch,” he also said. “I may have a drink for dinner. I like to drink with cigars.”

Indeed, Rudy does love a cigar—and what The Regency is to Michael Cohen, the Grand Havana Room at 666 5th Ave. is to Rudy Giuliani, because if you are one of the dumbass legal operators in Donald Trump’s orbit, you sure as frickin’ hell gotta have a signature shmoozing spot.

(I couldn’t check the Grand Havana Room out myself, as it is a members-only club and I have not received an invitation to join. However, according to a Colorado cigar smoker who commented on TripAdvisor, it was “Everything I expected from the classy NYC.” And a warning from “R K,” another visitor: “If you can accept the smell of elegant cigars while you dine you’ll have an entertaining evening. If not—don’t go.”)

Sources told Politico that Giuliani was at the Grand Havana before his unfortunate snafu on Hannity, which Giuliani said may or may not be accurate.

“I sometimes go before,” he said. “I sometimes go after.”


A person familiar with the interview said Hannity didn’t smell alcohol on Giuliani’s breath or otherwise notice that the Trump lawyer had been drinking. Giuliani also dismissed the question of whether he’d had any alcohol before going on Hannity’s program. “I’m insulted,” he said. “It’s extremely insulting. There’s no proof of any kind that I take too much alcohol. That’s ridiculous.”

Anyway, this is the president’s lawyer.

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