Get excited: There are only 573 days left until the 2020 election. : ) : ) : )
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
At a fundraiser in San Antonio, Texas, President Trump expressed disappointment that his troops-rough-up-asylum-seekers-at-the-border fanfiction has yet to become a reality. “Our military can’t act like a military would act,” said Trump. “Because if they got a little rough, everybody would go crazy.” Trump also used the roundtable to spread more lies about dangerous migrants and the effectiveness of his fantasy wall. [NY Times/NBC News]
Let’s take a journey back to March 2015, when J.K. Rowling apparently revealed that Moaning Myrtle’s real name is… Myrtle Elizabeth Warren. I have no words, folks!
Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish: