Are you desperately looking for another way to allow technology to completely take over your life? Is it too time consuming to reach for a smartphone readily available in your pocket or purse? If so, the makers of one new product totally feel you.
This is Ringly. It is a ring that you wear on your finger like any other ring. Except this ring is tied to the Internet, your phone calls and of course, all your social media. Which means now, Skynet is slowly winning the battle for your soul you can get updates from all the social media platforms that dominate your life AND look totally stylish while doing so:
Ringly’s Fall ring collection is crafted with 18K matte gold 3 micron plating using precious and semi-precious stones. With technology so discreet, you’ll forget it does anything other than accessorize your favorite looks.
According to SF Gate, this is a ring that will answer your phone. For those of you who can’t afford a smartphone butler, this is a fashionable alternative:
Each ring is equipped with a miniaturized Bluetooth chip that syncs the ring to your mobile phone. You control which alerts you receive through a simple mobile app; for example, limit notifications to calls from the babysitter or e-mails labeled urgent. The ring will discreetly flash or vibrate to get your attention.
I could all make lots of fun of this product (OH BELIEVE ME I COULD) but it’s high time we realize something important. Pretty soon, everything is going to be a way to get Internet alerts. Forget it, cool “I quit Facebook years ago and I’ve never been happier,” people. There’s no use fighting it anymore. And why bother? Just look how happy that woman is up there, with a $145 ring that not only matches that cute necklace she got at Anthropologie but also alerts her at the exact moment someone on Instagram likes the picture she took of that necklace.
This is just the beginning. Here’s some products, off the top of my head, that will probably exist in the near future:
- Socialork: A fork that gives you social media alerts. Find out what’s trending on Twitter and Istagram as you scarf down plates of reheated Chef Boyardee ravioli.
- Jumblr: Jorts that vibrate every time someone posts a new picture of Benedict Cumberbatch on Tumblr. (Yes, that’s jorts as in “jean shorts,” aka fashion awesomeness.)
- OK Condoms: Condoms that flash a glowing light when you get a new message on OK Cupid. For when you want to keep track of who’s messaging you on OK Cupid, even when you’re getting it on with someone else.
I’m sure you have lots more ideas. BTW, patent pending/copyright/etc. on all these ideas. No one is stealing “Jumblrs” from me.
Images from Ringly.