Kristi Noem Fired…Like the Shot She Used to Kill Her Dog, Cricket

Kristi Noem, who, before being named Secretary of Homeland Security, was best known for being the former South Dakota governor who wrote about shooting her dog, Cricket, dead, can now add “first cabinet member of Trump’s second term to get fired” to her public service resume. 

After weeks of reports that she was about to get the ax, and an incredibly tense hearing with the Senate Judiciary Committee earlier this week, Trump announced on Truth Social on Thursday that Noem was out.

“The current Secretary, Kristi Noem, who has served us well, and has had numerous and spectacular results (especially on the Border!), will be moving to be Special Envoy for The Shield of the Americas, our new Security Initiative in the Western Hemisphere we are announcing on Saturday in Doral, Florida,” Trump wrote on Truth Social. ” I thank Kristi for her service at ‘Homeland.’” Congrats to her for getting thrown under the bus and being handed a new fake job.

Her service at “Homeland” included the following:

• Calling two American citizens shot and killed by federal agents “domestic terrorists.”
• Then blaming anti-immigration ghoul Stephen Miller and saying she only called them “domestic terrorists” because that’s the information she was getting.
• Then refusing to say they weren’t domestic terrorists during the Senate hearing this week.
• Possibly letting her rumored boyfriend, Corey Lewandowski, run DHS.
• Spending $220 million on DHS commercials, as well as photoshoots outside of foreign gulags.
• Making up a story about deporting a cannibal.
• Completely screwing up FEMA’s response to the deadly flooding in Texas over the summer. 
• Trying to ban Harvard from enrolling international students, claiming they were…coordinating with the “Chinese Communist Party.”
• Overseeing the cruel, brutal, and inhumane detentions and deportations of thousands—a legacy guaranteed to go down as one of America’s most shameful chapters. 

At the hearing on Tuesday, Sens. Thom Tillis (R-N.C.), who previously called for her resignation in January, said Noem’s tenure was “a disaster” and promised to block all of Trump’s future nominations if she kept dodging his questions. 

She sure has made no one proud. 

Replacing her will be Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-Okla.), who previously complained to Fox News that he couldn’t even wear a seatbelt in Washington, D.C., anymore because, he claimed, carjackings were happening on every corner all the time. In his Truth Social post, Trump called him “A MAGA Warrior” who “truly gets along well with people, and knows the Wisdom and Courage required to Advance our America First Agenda.” He officially takes over on March 31. 

I can’t wait to see in what new, creative, and horrific ways he’ll disgrace America and make life worse—and more terrifying—for Americans.

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