Surprise! Brad Pitt Is Single, and That TED-Talking MIT Professor Is Dating a Billionaire

By Bobby Finger  |  June 14, 2018 | 2:08pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag

Here’s a twist I didn’t see coming: Neri Oxman, the MIT professor Brad Pitt allegedly started dating after studying the George Clooney Handbook for Late-Middle Age, is old news, and she’s returned to her former flame, “billionaire hedge funder” (and activist) Bill Ackman.

She reportedly flew to France to watch him compete in something called the Finance Cup, which is without a doubt the bougiest event I have ever heard of in my entire life: a tennis tournament “in which former pro and top college players working full-time in finance face off.” They kissed and canoodled and more or less acted like a serious couple in front of all the other rich people surrounding them, so it looks like her fling with Brad Pitt is over.

So what happened here? Well, I think there are just two possible explanations.

  • Brad Pitt and Neri Oxman never actually involved romantically, and will remain friends.
  • Brad Pitt and Neri Oxman met while she was in a sort of confusing place with Ackman, and she sorta tested the waters to see whether taking the Amal Clooney route was for her. But after a few weeks of invasive press attention and a series of late-night conversations with Pitt that were initially sort of charming and cute but ultimately left her feeling like he would never be on the same level as her intellectually and that no amount of nostalgia-based sex appeal could help her overlook that fact, she realized, Wait, what the fuck am I doing? The billionaire has that tennis thing and I like his friends.

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These photos of Amy Adams leaving the gym are so pure.

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