Taylor Swift Spends the Night with Brit-Pop Gingersnap Ed Sheeran

CelebritiesDirt Bag

It’s possible that your fevered collective fan dreams have come true—Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran might be tenderly and respectfully fornicating. Apparently Sheeran was in T-Swizzle’s hotel room before the Brit Awards until 4 AM, when Sheeran finally left looking “very pleased with himself” (according to some creep hanging outside in a tree like a bat who watched him leave her room, I guess). Rumor has it that the two, self-professed good friends, dated back in in March but broke up to focus on their careers, but now she’s giving it another shot.

A source tells The Sun, “Harry [Styles] had that irresistible bad boy thing but Taylor has realised she would rather give it a go with a guy who can make her happy on a different level.” Oof. Everyone’s dream: to be the sweet, reliable fallback when the person you like is done having smokin’ hot, Richter-scale intercourse with a total douche. On the bright side, Taylor, congratulations on your first known ginger! It’s hard to go back. [Daily Mail, Standard UK]

Kristen Stewart has been getting mad texts from her former partner in Crotchgrindingbridgegate, Rupert Sanders, since his wife Liberty Ross officially filed for divorce. While responding to these texts would clearly be an awesome idea, Stewart has been opting not to.”She wants nothing to do with him. […] She has no idea what’s going on with Robert [Pattinson] at the moment.” Gonna hazard a guess and say he’s… skulking. Somewhere. [Radar Online]

Connie Britton! Have a huge glass of pinot with me Tami Taylor-style and teach me how to be wise. She covers More in March and talks about being a single mom to 2-year-old Yoby: “The schedule is insane to the point where I lose a lot of sleep at night worrying about how little time I have to sleep and mostly what little time I have to be with my son. […] Being a single mom is challenging, but never in a million years would that have stopped me. You get an idea in your head and you’re going to do it. People can tell you how hard marriage is or how hard it is to birth a baby, but we do these things. We want the journey of that.” [People]

Liam Gallagher, Oasis frontman and noted dickhead, negged The Wire star Idris Elba about his hat for no reason.

“Liam was in full rock’n’roll swagger mode. He bowled up to the party after midnight and made his presence felt pretty quickly.
Then he had a few words with Idris, poking fun at his bobble hat among other things. Idris looked like he was going to flatten him – they were on completely different wavelengths.
“They were toe-to-toe at one point. Neither of them backed down. Idris was in a good mood, so left it, which was probably for the best. Liam left soon after.”

Yo Wonderwall, step off Stringer Bell. Thank you. [MTV UK]

  • Jennifer Aniston might become Jennifer Theroux, Earth hurtles off axis. [Tampa Bay]
  • Christian Slater is engaged to a woman not named Heather or Veronica, which feels distinctly un-canon. [Daily Mail]
  • Madonna and her fake accent acted like a jerk at an Oscars party and snubbed Ang Lee: ”It was incredible – she stormed around as if a black cloud was following her and then she was gone. Everyone wanted to know what bug got up her arse.” [Contact Music]
  • Nadya “Octomom” Suleman is “off the rails,” as if she was ever on the rails, at any point. [TMZ]
  • The alleged mother of Michael Jordan’s 16-year-old son wants child support/that sweet, sweet Space Jam money. [TMZ]
  • Emma Watson might play the lead in Kenneth Branagh’s Cinderella, the story of a woman so lazy that she made bluebirds dress her. [Variety]
  • Paula Deen’s thought about getting work done on her chin but “folks wake up dead after that surgery sometimes.” [Daily Mail]
  • Harry Styles is Jennifer Lawrence’s density. I mean, destiny. And, no! [MTV UK]
  • In her divorce proceedings with Kris Humphries, about whom I care less every time I type his name EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE, it has been alleged that Kim Kardashian may have “exaggerated her fertility issues.” [Daily Mail]
  • Extremely important: the main guy from Los Lonely Boys is in the hospital after falling off the stage. Guys. Los Lonely Boys. [TMZ]
  • Michael Sheen is I guess the only man on Earth who did not want to settle down with Rachel McAdams. [People]
  • Josh Duhamel talks into Fergie’s vagina. [People]
  • Tina Fey wore a cute mom tankini and took her kids to the pool. [Us Weekly]
  • Quiet middle-school library haunter Justin Bieber BREAKS OUT OF SHELL, demands you to notice him for once. [Us Weekly]
  • La La Anthony says that Kevin Garnett never told her husband Carmelo that she “tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios.” Great, so glad that’s been resolved, so glad I had to think about that again. [Page Six]
  • Jimmy Kimmel may be next year’s Oscars host. [Page Six]
  • At the Jewish Museum, “[Lena] Dunham told the audience of nearly 1,000 guests that her mother is Jewish but her father is a gentile. ‘The Jews don’t care who your dad is, unless he’s on the board of a major hospital.'” [Page Six]
  • PETA is laying into Bey for her crazy-ass python sneakers. [NYDN]
  • Honey Boo-Boo’s Girl Scout cookie-hawking business got taken off Facebook because SAMOA BREACH. [NYDN]
  • Shocker: the Rihanna/Chris Brown Law & Order: SVU episode doesn’t end with everyone buying Honey Boo-Boo’s Girl Scout Cookies. [NYDN]
  • Diane Lane and Laura Dern totally hang out IRL! What a dreammm. [TMZ]
  • Camille Grammer’s leaving The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. [Radar]
  • 90210 has been cancelled. Feel free to sit shiva nowhere. [Gossip Cop]
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