“Excuse me, is your bread vegetarian?”
That was an actual question asked to a co-worker at a seafood restaurant where I worked. He came into the back looking shell-shocked, because he had no idea how to even handle being asked that. Note that the customer did not ask “vegan,” which I am given to understand is a real thing (somehow) — they asked specifically “vegetarian.”
The phrase may run “the customer is always right,” but the corollary, well-known to anyone who has ever worked in the business, is “and sometimes, the customer is really fucking stupid/has no grip on reality.” On this installment of Behind Closed Ovens, we take a look at some of the best and stupidest questions those working in the food industry have ever received.
The one that always mystified me (apart from the above, obviously) comes from a brewpub where I worked for almost two years. Multiple customers asked it, and to this day, my deepest regret from this job is that I never worked up the courage to question them as to what they were even asking.
“Are your potato chips, potato chips?”
They weren’t asking if they were french fries. I’m positive of this. These were not British customers, nor were we a restaurant with any connection to anything even tenuously British. Besides which, in order to find “potato chips” on our menu, you had to read right past “french fries” — there was literally no way to know we served them unless you’ve just read “french fries” two seconds prior.
The weirdest part, though, is that when I’d authoritatively answer “yes, absolutely,” they’d look at me with a “go on” expression. What…I don’t…I give up on this species.
As always, these are actual submissions from actual people, many of whom are using their Kinja names (and one of whom is using his actual name — see if you can figure out which one).
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