The Ice Cube Diet, And Other Bad Ideas


A supplement company claims its hoodia ice cubes will help you lose weight. Allow us to propose a few alternatives.

According to Liz Neporent of ABC, Desert Labs says one “hoodia satiety cube” per day, consumed as part of a drink, will help people drop pounds. Shockingly, there are a few problems with this plan. First of all, hoodia is hard to come by, so the cubes might not even that much of the stuff. Instead, they might contain lead, arsenic, or pesticides — some of which, we guess, might make you lose weight before you drop dead. Also, hoodia’s not even proven to promote weight loss, so even if the cubes aren’t adulterated with poison, they might not do anything. So rather than wasting your money on supplements, may we suggest:

The Ice Cube Diet
Sounds similar to the hoodia diet, but with this one, you chew on ice cubes while watching the Friday movies.

Pros: Both a diet and a form of entertainment.
Cons: You might break a tooth. Also, sequels not as good as the original.

The Potato Diet
Eat only potatoes, like the executive director of the Washington Potato Commission. He’s on a 60-day quest to prove potatoes can be healthy. CBS isn’t helping — here’s their (poorly proofread) headline:

Pros: Potato ice cream!
Cons: Potato ice cream. Also, risk of death by typo.

The Iced Tea Diet
This is kind of like the Ice Cube Diet, except you drink iced tea while watching Law & Order: SVU.

Pros: You get to learn about all the most salacious news stories a few months after they happen, all while sipping a refreshing beverage.
Cons: The combination of caffeine and horrific scenarios may cause anxiety.

The Carrot Top Diet
Eat carrots while watching Carrot Top routines.

Pros: Watching Carrot Top has been shown to be an extremely effective appetite suppressant.
Cons: May cause vomiting.

The Watermelon Diet
Eat watermelon while watching Gallagher.

Pros: Um, delicious watermelon?
Cons: Obvious.

Cube Your Appetite: Does ‘Ice Cube Diet’ Work? [ABC]
Man On All-Potato Died Sick Of Potatoes [AP, via CBS]
Man On All-Spud Diet Wishes He Set Goal Of 1 Month [AP, via Washington Post]

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