Tiffany, Sad

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Tiffany, Sad
Image:Getty

Please just shoot Diet Dr. Pepper straight into my veins!

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Donald Trump wished the Navy “happy birthday” this past weekend, but either forgot or deliberately ignored his daughter Tiffany’s birthday, which was also this weekend. She turned 26. [People]
  • Trump is feeling bad for the killing and forced displacement of Kurdish people in northern Syria that he all but authorized, I guess! [Washington Post]
  • Meanwhile, Liz Cheney is blaming Turkey’s invasion of Syria on… the Democrats’ impeachment inquiry. [Newsweek]
  • Totally normal, nothing to see here! [Rolling Stone]
  • Bernie Sanders has a very good plan to give workers a stake in the companies they ceaselessly toil for. [HuffPost]
  • He also is interested in shortening the workweek, which, hell yeah!
  • Go away already!!!
  • It’s almost as if Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook are… bad? [Politico]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.

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