Tweeting Bra Lets World Know When Someone Gets To 2nd Base

Protective parents, this is the technological breakthrough you’ve been waiting for: a bra with a Bluetooth device on the clasp that sends a tweet whenever a horny mook unhooks your daughter’s bra. You can probably even customize it to tweet a message at your local police precinct, something like: “my daughter is about to unwillingly lose her virginity. Please send a car to (location).”

Ostensibly, this tweeting bra announcement has something to do with breast cancer awareness. It’s a stunt going on this month in Greece, sponsored by Nestlé Fitness, makers of ostensibly healthy cereals and cereal bars.

Here’s the press note:

Every time our bra is unhooked, it sends a signal to a cell phone, the cell phone notifies a server, and the server generates the tweet…as simple as that! It’s the first and only bra that tweets with a mission to remind you one thing you should never forget: your monthly breast self exam!

Maria Bacodimou (@mariabacodimou), one of the most popular TV presenters in Greece, has very willingly joined our mission and will be wearing a tweeting bra for two weeks. Every time Maria unhooks the bra it will automatically post a tweet.

That’s swell, but we all know you’re just looking to sell more cereal to more women, Nestlé.

Here’s the Tweeting Bra website, if you’re so inclined. The bra joins an ever-growing list of inanimate objects that tweet. If I was you, Victoria’s Secret, I’d check into the patent on this thing, steal the technology, and make a fucking killing.