What did you ask Santa for Christmas last year? Was it a poorly shot video of your favorite boy band smoking weed and saying a bunch of ridiculous shit? Well, never say Santa isn’t real or that he doesn’t love you, because the bastard finally delivered.
In a video obtained by the Daily Mail, the members of One Direction are seen getting hiiiiiiigh as all hell in the back of a van. Via the Telegraph:
Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Niall Horan, all 20, are not in the SUV with their band mates and are presumably travelling elsewhere in the convoy.
After smoking some of the rolled up cigarette, Tomlinson passes it to Malik, who is wearing a Bob Marley T-shirt, who says it is “nice”.
Whilst narrating the journey Tomlinson says: “That’s the police. That’s the po po … Nice.
“I’m trying to blow it into the camera. Smokescreen baby! …
“That’s just Zayn warming up there before the show. Zayn takes his job very seriously. He makes sure he goes through a two-hour intense warm up regime before every show, just to get himself in the zone.
“One very, very important factor to Zayn’s warm up, of course is Mary Jane herself. In fact I’m presenting it to him now for some fantastic singing.”
Describing it as “one nil” against the police he turns the camera on officers on motorcycles passing the convoy, saying: “He is having a look, he is thinking ‘I’m sure I can smell an illegal substance in there’ and he has hit the nail on the head.”
At another point he is apparently heard to ponder: ” ‘I’m just wondering now, we’re sitting here in Peru. Will this come back to me? Who knows? Maybe. Maybe not’
According to the Daily Mail, Louis shouts “nig,” at about the 3:18 mark:
Louis: F***ing ‘ell bro, I’m chillin. Oh my God bro. My ‘ed’s a wreck
Louis: It’s green only! Nig!
The band’s representative declined to comment on anything specifically in the video, but said “the whole situation is in the hands of our lawyers.”
Here’s the video for the 12 of you out there who have never been around young dudes when they get high and start rambling about crap that only they think is funny. I call this “Hanging out at the Taco Viva Parking Lot in Lake Worth, Florida, 1991.”