Yesterday a Minnesota woman pleaded guilty to one of the most mind-boggling crimes of our time. On New Year’s Eve, police were called after a sales associate accused Stephanie Moreland of stealing a $6,500 mink coat from the Alaskan Fur Company. When they tracked her down, they found a hanger in her car but no coat. She was put in jail and questioned for three days, but police failed to notice she was holding the coat the entire time. Though she was searched for weapons, somehow Moreland managed to stash the coat in her underwear. An officer says:
“She had modified her underwear. She actually cut the rear of the underwear out so that from the back it appeared she was not wearing underwear and then stuffed it down the front.”
Okay, that really doesn’t clear anything up, so we’re just going to imagine she distracted the officers by breaking into a performance of Mr. Burns’ “See My Vest.”
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